Selfless Smile :)

I walked off the office around 1 o'clock yesterday along with my dear friend. After walking for like few minutes we took Safa Tempo from Tinchuli pipalbot and headed to "Mahankal".
I gave a call to Mrs Manju, the mother of Ajay who is the boy I was thinking to meet for a time. Mrs. Manju came to receive us at a place she mentioned through phone just minutes before.

Walking down the muddy narrow way and getting my feet in the dirty waters, we were walking and talking at the same time. I was sharing words with Mrs Manju.

I was very much comfortable in my baggy jeans that I wore for that day because I knew I had to walk for a while. I love the simple slipper. The green jacket of North face was keeping me safe from the wind.

I was talking with Mrs. Manju and walking. I was little tired. The road was a complete mess. The road was slippery and rough. But I knew one thing I have to get to the place to Meet Ajay.

We were on our way; suddenly it rained so so so badly that I was feeling the rain drops through my jackets. Luckily I had a backup umbrella with me. I shared it with Manju. We were in a same blue umbrella and we were both getting wet. Mrs. Manju pointed to a gate which was quite old and said; la tai ho ma basnei thau,

Aye la, Ajay pani tyaha cha ni hoina? I asked her.

She nodded yes.

I finally saw Ajay on bed. Mrs manju lifted him up and supporting with the pillows he could sit like normal people.

Ajay is a very sweet boy. Doctors says that ‘he is abnormal ‘.

His mother Manju came to know about this bitter fact when he couldn’t make any moves when he reached at 8 months of age. Since then “HIA” organization has been taking care of him. He is getting financial help from “HIA”.

Ajay has this soft very fair skin; beautiful natural skin. I noticed the red blushes on his cheeks. Ajay will be 12 in couple of month, I guess yes coming Nepali Dashain he will enter at the Age 12. Though he is not mentally fit and his body is not making any progress with the medication but I was very much delighted to confront this lately that he can express happiness through his facial expression. He laughs and when he laughs, his cheeks blushes more. He giggles when people are around him. He hates when he is alone. When I gave him the hat, he was giggling and only giggling.

I left his home handing the things I had for him. it was a good day to see Him. Good day to meet Ajay’s Family and visit his home personally.

Smile to life J

Monsoon rain!

alone with some sheets of paper and a pen :)

I sit by the air corridor of my office as I forgot my key of my office in home and was waiting for my friend’s arrival.

I took out the diary and a pen from by bag. This feel to jot down some words appeared within me. I smiled in disguise to enjoy the morning rain all alone. I sat by the bench quietly, listening to the drops of the rain hitting the branches of the huge Tree that I can confront right away in front of me. Usually I could hear the birds singing on the trees for the nature by this time, may be it’s because of regular rain that kept them rest in their cozy nest.

beautiful day to see the shining drops :)

The huge tree was shining like it’s nicely decorated with the diamonds all over it. I hope the birds were delighted to notice the splendid natural shines today.

Was hoping if the birds could come over dancing and flap their wet wings to enjoy the moment of Monsoon here!

i am all Alone in my own world where none can stop me to imagine things in my own way :)

There is a voice beneath me, words that I have kept stored for a long,

Longing to cried out loud to feel myself free,

But the monsoon rain pouring strongly on the earth,

Swallowed them all,

Now seems like there is no more Voice and no more words,

Leaving me all alone for nothing~

Seems like I have to wait for another monsoon again to bring the words and the lost voice .~!

few things that always stays with me no matter What....

 Smile to Life  J

Weed lover!

everyday i long for this serene view.

devotees in a huge number Monday morning date 25th of july 2011

he didn't mind when i took his snap.

It was a normal Sunday morning, like the very much normal days I headed to pashupati area for morning walk. Like the obvious normal days, I made myself head to this area where there are many benches to rest and one can easily observe the activities that takes place.

This time I had a friend with me to talk and to enjoy the environment. We sat by a bench at the end of the row. I had earphones of my phone clapped to my both ears; I was lost in listening to the songs of Beatles. The song “when I get older losing my hair many years from now, will you still be sending me valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine” it’s a great song of Beatles; the name of the song is “when I am 64”.

 I was telling my friend that this song is really good so probably she should listen to it. She was searching songs in my phone while I took out the book that I placed in her side bag while walking. I looked for the mark of the bookmarker and continued with the story. “My path leads to Tibet” is the book of a young blind lady who travels alone to Tibet to who has this dream project to build a blind school for the blind children in Tibet.

I was reading with an ease as the environment was just perfect. Just then a loud music interrupted my attention. It was provoking me in someway. I was thinking within myself ‘earphones are made because not to disturb others and for private use, why don’t they make the best use of it??

I could still hear the music going louder then, I felt now its time to see who it is. I turned to back; I found two young guys sitting by the bench at or back doing something I have not seen before. They were doing something on a piece of paper and at the same time they were nodding their head with the music and singing along enjoying the song, I should say the loud music.

I was irritated with their loud music at that time of early morning, when someone was at his last stage and counting his leftover lungful of air and people were carrying the person in a sheet, and placed him by the Bagmati river where people are cremated with Hindu rituals.

It was more apprehensive time for me when they walked towards our bench and sat at the next bench. They were talking with each other in Nepali but I didn’t get anything what they were talking. They guy sitting near to me was wearing a black shirt with dark blue denim. Light brown leather laced timberland shoes with the matching color of leather belt. He was carrying a side bag completed from garment I guess. He had a very nice watch to compliment his facial looks, but his ear top gave me this feel that if he is a Rock star.  He along with his fellow friend smoked straight away. They were exhaling the smokes and it was certainly passing by us. The smoke was different from usual. The black shirt guy was acting like a don of area. He was still playing the loud music and singing alone as if he doesn’t really cares of what the rest of the world thinks of him.

He took out a packet wrapped in paper from his pocket and start doing the same thing he was doing before. He was again busy searching in the paper; he was no different than a monkey there. He was spitting anywhere, eewww that was gross! He was walking here and there like a fighter who is not scared of anything else.

Another guy with light blue shirt walked in, they shared handshake like a gentlemen,

K cha yaaar? Said the light blue shirt.

Thik cha yaar; the black shirt guy

So when time did you come; the light blue shirt.

Early morning, don’t know the time dude; a constant reply from the black shirt.

The black shirt guy was staring at us; maybe it was because I was looking at their activities. The blue shirt guy joined them in smoking. They were enjoying the each puff and passing the single cigarette and sharing in harmony.

When I asked them what they were smoking…without any hesitation they replied ‘Gaanza’ ‘Marijuana’.

What ??? Marijuana ?here? And in this public place?

My eyes popped out with shock, it was a shock of guys smoking, it was a shock of these youngsters smoking confidently in such open and public area where people are gathered for morning exercise, meditations.

Aye lala,

So you guys are not afraid of the cops, because I always see them around.

La didi, kai garcha yo police haru ley,

They might give couple of slaps and leave that’s it. Nothing else but only if we get caught which is not easy. By the way good thing is, we know most of the cops here so won’t be any dilemma.

How old are you? I asked the black shirt guy.

23 with an ease her answered.

Do you study?

It’s been long time, I have not touched the books and I left my study because I just couldn’t give any will.

I don’t like staying home whole day. I don’t like reading. I don’t like to study any more now.

I like playing guitar, I love to smoke weed, I love to hang around with friends,

I entertain people by playing music.

Do you smoke every day like the early morning?

La didi, k huncha, smoking weed is fun, its herbal. And even the Hollywood stars involved in drugs.

Tapai lai thaha cha didi, guns and roses have this band on his head? Do you know the reason?

I made a gesture of facial expression wanting to know the reason.

It’s because he hides his drugs in it. He carries his drugs along with his every time he is on stage. So weed gives this feel to get along with music. And music without feel is absurd.

Ho ki hoina bhannus ta didi.

I nodded my head in disguise.

So does that mean that you will be involving in weed for the rest of your life?

Hoina didi, ma mero zindagi ma ramaula pani and sai barcha pani nagaula!

( I will enjoy my life and will cross the century)

He was in fact trying to say that he won’t die like the rock starts normally end their life in the middle of the way.

Iwas watching his hang moves and my eyes were caught the time in his watch; it was already quarter to 8 by the time he was still explaining things to be about him. I was getting late home as I have to reach my office too.

I stood up and tapped my shoes; I guess I am getting late have to leave now.

Do you come here every day? They asked.

Yes I do and this particular place is one of my favorite. By the way “I like that pink Floyd’s song “wishes you were here” that you were playing before.

I left with a smile and so did they. J

Smile to life

Armed force~filled 76th B.I.R.T.H.D.A.Y of H.Holiness Dalai Lama!

Finally i Reached! :)

we were welcomed by the police jeep..

The School Gate of Namgyal middle school..(Locked)

All set with Armed!

The woman being carried in police Van,...

police arrived constantly over the moments.

police watching over the shops and restaurants in the place

Mr. Mattia Midali from Rome and thanks for the sharing the words

I was in deep sleep when my phone rang; it was my Amala (Mother)…

Lhamo! police are all around the Boudha stupa; seem like we won’t get to celebrate the birthday of Dalai Lama. Tut Tut I received the phone guessing the green button as I had those lazy sleepy eyes;
Hello Amala;

Tut…..we lost the phone connection.

I woke up and made my get out of her sound sleep along with me, we took a walk to Boudha around 7:30 in the morning, as I was walking the way, all I see is the police in their uniform around the Boudha in huge numbers. They were constantly giving messages through their walky-talky phone. Now what is this, I was like what is the problem now?

People in Boudha were discussing in small group that we won’t get to celebrate the birthday of our Dalai Lama and talking about their own possible reason to match with the condition.

I saw one of the two stars police head getting close  towards a group of some Tibetan men and asking all of sudden questions like “What is going on here?, what you people are discussing about?”

The men were nice enough to smile and answer them in polite way, because that was only the thing they could do that moment.

Avoiding them I came back home. Amala was then engaged in telling me, the cops will never let it happened to see the Tibetans performing the celebrations of the birthday. She even mentioned that people are returning back failing to get to swyambhu to participate happily in the celebration.

Security was very tight from every place. I encountered people returning to their own place. If the cops get to see anyone dressed finely, they will be questioned randomly and create problem. The huge police truck and two small jeeps in front of the Boudha gate mentioned it all about the situation the moment.

My sister and I called our near ones and headed to swyambhu not knowing if we can possibly get to to our destination to attend the celebration. We took another way to get to the main road and decided we would take Cab. We walked the muddy road with the clumsy steps. I could feel my heels piercing through the mud and it was a nasty feeling but we didn’t have any other option. Walking after 10-15 minutes we reached to a place where we got the cab. Yes here we come now.J

When we arrived at swyambhu, there were more cops than the number of the people. The main Gate of Namgyal middle school was decorated with the Nepali Cops.Oh! I forgot to mention, they were not there for the security of the celebration; oh they were there to disallow us from taking part in this celebration.

It was around 12:20 when a woman who was wearing Tibetan dress was arguing with the police in a noisy voice. I didn’t hear what the lady was trying to say, but later the police constable gathered in a huge number for just a woman and took her away dragging her from the earth. There was a foreigner who was trying to help the woman along with some Tibetan people to stop the cops. But failed, the cops were in huge number and as soon they got the woman in the truck, the truck left in a speed taking the woman away.

Mattia Midali 29 from Rome city Italy was taking pictures constantly and observing the stressed moment said; this is one of the most depressive moments I am seeing. Today is just a birthday celebration of a person, one beautiful person. This is horrific kicking the people with no reason. I really can’t explain in words.

I asked in the middle of the conversation, who kicked the people and did you see them kicking?

With the shocking face he replied; these police kicked the people around who were here and I have pictures in my camera, I have taken pictures too and I will be taking some pictures for a while now staying here.

After few minutes, a huge truck filled with cops arrived at the entrance of the school. They were telling people to empty the place, but they still had this hope of getting inside the venue and join the celebration. People are scattered in small small groups around the place in shop, restaurants and communications waiting for a chance to get through the entrance but no wonder the cops were watching the people’s every inch of steps.

People were leaving from the place with the disheartening face along with their family after waiting for a long at the entrance of the venue. An average height man near me who looked over 40 said; now things will get worse and tense for Tibetan in Nepal. There will be time when we are not allowed to make a small move like back in Tibet. I can sense everything back in years in Tibet. It all started like this.

He left adding the remarkable words for me of the day, “Do remember my words” with the a gesture that was somehow made me feel uneasy of the things that were bothering me and everyone like me who had this same questions within themselves “ Are we like a prison in this autonomous country?” or we don’t have individuality that its always effortless for the cops to take Tibetan people in their custody anytime and every time they want?” or they really don’t give a damn to the people who are second class citizens?

Smile to Life  J

expressions of Love !

Real Couple in Real life... isn't that beautiful???....

The adorable couple in basantapur, i took this pic secretly.

Now this is really cute! Real couple in Real life!

<3

<3

another secretly taken picture in DreamsGarden of thamel!

expression of love in teenage Style ~  <3  ~

(the pictures has nothing to do with the story in here, i have pictures here of my friends , i uploaded here without  letting them know about this posting in my blog! But will sure:)

Is been couple of weeks by now, I have been going to swimming every day. During these periods of time, I came to confront some certain things I have buried decades ago. Well the swimming has nothing to do with what I am thinking. It’s all because of the conversation that I had with my friend about LOVE.

She came to know a guy and they started giving interest to each other or shall I say ‘they started seeing each other”. She liked him; I saw that in her eyes when she blushes talking about certain incidents which describe their feeling in a serene way which leave a respect for each other. It was something that I would love to see and love to hear, because it’s her first love that really captured my mind in here words of expressions.

Love, sounds really special when we see this word. Love! Yes love, this is what I am going to write about “LOVE”.

There is this dashing looking guy who is 25 living in United States of America. He is just like an ordinary guy of his age walking down the way carrying a bag, going to work and getting back home late, and makes sure to take out time to study. He is from a very decent family who really cares about him and so he never forgets to keep them happy standing as a good son. He loves to party, gather with friends and get hangover over the weekends but he makes sure that he is feeling fine about his family. All and all he is a family kind of man. He has friends around him and so a girlfriend in his life. Talking about him, he says;

“I have a girlfriend. She is a good girl and she is nice to me. I, myself make sure I make her feel good about our relation. But I am a career person at the same time, I have my dreams and aim for myself which are somehow related to my family. I love my family and there is no doubt that I like her too. But I will hardly bring the situation where I will invite someone in my family when I am nothing in the society. I have to stand strong. I have to study very hard for few years and build a concrete career in the society, because if I am not happy and not strong, I will never be able to give happiness to people who are in my life. And I am a man, so a man always stands strong about his aim and objectives. There is no doubt that I love my girlfriend but I will not let that love comes on my way until I set a root in the society. I love my family and I can do anything to make them feel good”. L

After knowing his view, my mind was totally jammed with his words. I was recalling them again and again. Then I thought, maybe a teenager love will say something different. With lots of expectation to hear some really exciting views, I made myself easy to listen carefully so that I won’t make any misunderstanding while putting them in words.

She is too an ordinary but a girl without fashion. She doesn’t really have the good ideas about trends and style. Long hair girl, who stands tall with pale skin, finds herself comfortable in a date. But she has a guy in her life. She blushes while talking about LOVE. When I asked her what is love to you? She hesitated for a while with a smiling face and said; Love is love, isn’t it?

Right! Love is love. But if you have to put it in words how do you put it, like in undemanding way?

Rolled her eyeballs like she was thinking too deep to put in a right way, she paused mmmm and  said softly; love to me….mmmmmm well love to me…how can I say???

Well I have this guy in my life. He is very good to me. He cares me like I am a kid, you know what I mean? I have had wonderful moments with him. There is no doubt that I will not be able to forget him effortlessly. I will always remember those moments like heaven. I don’t know how to give a meaning to Love, but as far as for me being a teenager, love for me is sitting in backseat of a taxi with him holding hands in the January chilling nights till the taxi gets a passenger. Love for me, is sharing hot Wai Wai soup noodles in a same bowl in chahabil busy place. Love for me is those moments when we made the same wishes in the Temples. Love for me is keeping ourselves warm in the same mufflers in the windy weather and gazing at each other with a smile. Love for me, is those quiet moments when we have nothing to speak, I lean my head on his shoulder and feel the air caressing his hands in rooftop watching the stars. Love for me is setting a date on tight budget and counting money after each expense, checking the leftover money. Love for me is those moments he waited for me every day in the class. Love for me is when he first came to see me in my home while no one was home and said; you have a dirty room. Love for me is the first scooter ride without a license with him stretching arms like the world was with me. Love for me is hearing his voice after a very busy day in the evening. Love for me is his presence. Love for me is his anger but only sometimes. Love for me is his silly jokes. And love for me is those night rickshaw riding with him through the Thamel way in the middle of the night of the New Year. All these moments are love for me. I may lack in expressing it to make you understand what love is, but this is love for me.

She was totally lost in her words of expression. Her cheeks turned red after she said the last line; “All these moments are love for me. I may lack words expressing it, to make you understand what love is, but this is love for me”.

That was really a remarkable job of her in terms of making me understand her views. I must say very sweet and simple. She was right; it will be hard for her to forget these moments effortlessly. She really has moments and moments to cherish. Lucky Her! J

Well talking about love, as the Bryan Adam’s song says it all “when you love someone, you do all the crazy things that you can’t explain” this particular line says it all, what actually Love is…I remember in my school times when I was in Hostel and I was small as I observe back in time. There was a guy very much senior to us. He was a smart fair guy with natural brown hair. He was in love with a girl from his class. He would try to get her every single glimpse in every possible way. He was kind of famous for his feelings towards her. Even in the dining hall at the time of having meals he would look at her time and again. Even during the self study time in the hall he would sit straight line of her, just to have her single glimpse. That’s was really sweet. I always wished if they would be a real couple in the future. I don’t know what happened next after they graduated from school. Well Yes this is love in words of expression. Love!

I know love has some bitter meanings too but I am staying away from them.

I asked some people around me including my own sister, she said well love “love is when you look into someone’s eyes and suddenly you go all the way inside their soul and you both know it”. Wow I never knew my sister could give me such expressive words. J

Well love is very special bond that people must have. I remember someone asked me this same question back; what is love?

I got puzzled for a while when the questions came out of blue because I was not expecting anyone will ask me the same thing I was asking people for few days. Alright talking about Love, Love is a special bond of knot that people share among themselves. It depends on the people themselves how rigid knot they want to present to the particular bond to make it happen as everlasting love. I am sure there are people out there who have given tight knot to their bond, but little concerned with so called ‘Time’ doubting what it has stored to show up in the coming days. I would love to add this here, believe in the love that you have in your heart for someone and believe in the love that you have from someone, keep the moments, cherish the love that you are showered and most importantly please stay Loyal.

Love is a beautiful feeling when you are in love with someone, it’s more beautiful when you are loved by someone and it’s a wonderful place to land and feel everything in a different way when you have the person you loved in your life.

I have to thank some people here who tried their best to make me understand their experiences about love. Yeah as you all said; I am not going to write your names here as if I am not going to tell anyone.… 

Smile to Life  J

Who's she....???

It was about many years back’s New Year Eve, one of my friend came with this idea to gather in this place “kathmandu plaza”. She was fond of Indian cuisine and “Rajgharana” was the right place for people who crave for Indian food. From there, I was first introduced to place which served food with entertainments. I was happy to get entertained with spicy Indian foods. I saw beautiful ladies dancing. They were beautiful with fair skin and very long hair dancing with a man who had this attitude of an Indian actor Salman Khan, I remember the man dancing to the song ‘O O jane jana, and yea! How can I forget to mention about this shirtless body! It was little funny though.

I went to the restroom after the dinner, and guess what I saw?????I saw the dancing ladies in the restroom removing their makeup. I was just near to one of them who was removing her long artificial eyelashes and overdid eye makeup. She was looking at me though the mirror. I hurriedly got back to my place and kept thinking why do they work like this?

I saw the same lady getting down the parking with  her fellow workers. I can’t believe my eyes, I mean she was looking so fine with all those decent wardrobes and yes, she had short hair…she must be using the hair extension while dancing. J

I smiled at her because I didn’t mean to create any misunderstanding about the staring at her in the restroom…she smiled at me later but felt like the smile was not genuine.

Years passed by but still I remember that moment. May be this was the reason behind writing this story of this girl and living in the heart of city Kathmandu.

How I came to know this girl?

Who is she?

What is she doing now?

Is she someone I personally know?

These questions are obvious. I personally don’t know this girl. But the moment I saw her I never thought she was what she is now. I saw this girl on the rooftop restaurant smoking like one of the villain in Indian movies. She was wearing a white kurtha with sky blue embroideries finely done. She had wavy hair, tighten partly with a sparkling clip. She had a book beside her coffee cup which actually grabbed my attention for sure.

She was sitting at the next table to me. She turned the pages from the books and looked like she was having good time sipping the coffee. Suddenly she got up and left leaving all her belongings right there at the place. While she was away, her phone rang from her bag. It rang again but she didn’t show up.

When she was back, she looked at me with a smile. Wiping her hands with the napkins of the café she pointed at my table and said “oh Guru of love, that’s nice book.”

Oh yes this one, lifting the book I made a reply “he is a great writer” I like his writing.

Pointing at her table I said “Oh yeah your phone rang twice”

Oh, thanks!  She checked the phone and called back,

“Hello yeah where is you? Oh really ok wait for a minute. I will be right there”. She hanged up the phone.

She put the book and the packet of cigarette in her bag hurriedly. With a slight look she asked me “so Samrat is your favorite writer?”

Not really but I like to read his books.

She asked for the bills meanwhile she checked herself at her small mirror from the bag. She gave a last touch with a lipstick.

Placing my jaw on my hand I said ‘It’s really nice out door here. I love the place but the food is ok’.

‘Is this your first time here because I have never seen you before’ She asked me.

Yes it is, do come here everyday?

Checking her light purple purse ‘not everyday but I do come here most of the evening before leaving for my work’.

What do you do? I asked with little hesitation because I felt little uneasy.

Oh! Well I work in a call centre as a night shift. It’s unsuitable for my health and the working schedule is complicated. I am already late and the waiter is  ……’ before she could say further, the waiter appeared with the change and handed her. She placed some tips for him.

Before she left she gave me the names of few writers and said “you will love them when you like Samrat’s writing”.

The waiter came with a tray to clean the table. He placed the ashtray full of ashes  on the try and placed a clean one. He was wiping the table and asked me , when he asked me “ do you know her’?

‘You mean the lady who just left now’ I asked him back.

‘Yes’ he replied.

Not really, why?

She is a famous bar dancer here. She is good to us. We get excited to serve her as she hands us delightful tips. He gave me this insatiable smile out of blue.

My eyes were wide opened with shock. ‘whaaaaatttt I mean do you know what you are saying’

She comes here almost every day by this time. She has long and strong contacts with people around.

I couldn’t believe what he just spoke to me; I mean the lady who handed me the paper with the name of famous writers is a bardancer. Oh my god!

I would love to meet her someday again someday. Will always keep in my mind that she is woman working in a call center who loves reading books rather than what the waiter mentioned about her.

When I was home, I realized I forgot to ask her name. i guess I had dropped my sanity somewhere when i shared so much words with her but i forgot to share our name.

Smile to Life :)

Queen of virginity place!

window "ankhe jyal"

Door to bigger world

evening view!

Gurung lady offering shelter..

will follow u kamala..

Didi alikati tarkari rakhau? (An offer of vegetable curry)

A very soft voice made me look up to see who it was.  She was a pregnant Woman with glow on her face. Her face was partly covered with freckles. She was wearing a Nepali dress which we call cholo and phariya in red and her stomach was tighten with white thick cotton fabric.

Nai nai dherai bhayo malai; (no thank you, I had enough) I made a reply to the woman.

After the dinner I didn’t see her around. I thought to have a short talk to her but I didn’t get to see her. So I went to bed early to wake up early and start my work with the new fresh day.

 It was a lovely greeting of morning with the sunrays shimmering at the mountains. I could see the people in the boat fishing; they looked unbelievably tiny from a distance place where I stand. The fresh air awake my sleepy eyes, birds singing with the leaves of the tree in tune brighten my morning. I turned to an opposite side, I could see all those beautiful huts which gave me vibe that my coming days will be an exciting day to cherish, watching the people communicate from their tiny little windows which they call them ‘Ankhe Jyal’ in Nepali was something very usual for us but indeed a daily life activity for them, small kids from different age helping their parents get the milk to the market in the boat to bring handful of fresh crisp notes back home, the sound of the vessel of the milk container when they hit each other walking down the boat place made me amazed leaving  a smile on my face. I was very much happy to find myself surrounded by such breathtaking views right in front of my naked eyes and the tune of the language of the people were little different from what I have been  practicing and I was loving it. Oh Lord; I am lucky indeed to land myself in the land of ‘virginity’ and yes these hard working people for sure.

This is a serene place named ‘Smiley gaun’ which is also well known as’ Patley gaun’. It takes one hour of boating from the lakeside of Pokhara from the Hallen chowk where one can easily get boat on hire to get there for five hundreds just to drop there. But have to manage a boat from the beginning to return back or else can be manage from the village but have to pay.

It is indeed a peaceful place. Away from the hustle and bustle world one can easily catch the view of whole pokhara from there. The Sarangkot and the paragliding views are overwhelming to witness.

 In this place of virginity, there lives this woman who offered me some more ‘Tarkari’ for the dinner the first night. Her innocent face aroused me this will to write about her or I can say that her offer of tarkari for the dinner was a nice glimpse to get me in mood to write. Whatever had been the reason but I found her interesting woman to get to know personally.

Her name is kamala. She was a mother of a girl of 6 when I was there and recently I got this information that she has given birth to a baby girl again. Wow that’s beautiful news for me, now she has two Angels dancing in her garden to beautify her world.

This is about one evening I was in garden alone, feeling the touch of the air I was writing something in my diary. She showed up swiftly right beside me.

Didi, Pani parcha jasto cha! (Probably it will rain)

Looking at the sky, I made my comment ‘taita jaroo huncha hola hai’ (right is it going to be cold?)

I made her sit near me. The shawl I had wrapped around me was keeping me warm from the wind.

How is everything back in Kathmandu? She asked with little hesitation.

It’s good there. The heavy traffic is annoying as always. But can’t be better than pokhara isn’t it?

I don’t know, it’s been like more than nine years since I have not been in Kathmandu, so I wonder how it is now. I have almost forgotten everything about Kathmandu. If I visit Kathmandu now, i get lost in the city; she giggled.

Her daughter was disquieting our conversation and the little girl was shaking when she was running here and there. My eyes were on her stomach which was big enough like the baby can come out anytime. I was worried and I made the girl go off not bothering her anymore, at least not shaking. With the offer of an orange was fine to make the little girl go calm.

Kamala was placing her hand on her stomach. I could see the real woman in her. She was looking beautiful being in the stage of pregnancy. I was watching her only for few minutes.

What do you want a girl or a boy? I asked.

Khoi didi. , malai ta chori man parcha tara abha chora bhayo bhane malai alikati sajilo. (I don’t know, I like girl but a boy would easy me a little) she wrinkled her nose as she made this comment.

She was asking me about my personal things and I answered all her questions. But I was saying things randomly which can be close to creating a condition where I would not remember my own words.

I was looking the lake when she looked at me and said; you are lucky enough to be single and earn by yourself. You can do anything when you are single, really anything. You can live your life freely which is important once you are born as human. ‘Kasto ramailo hola tapailai’ hai didi.

Kina timi lai ramailo china timi khusi chaina; (why you not happy) I asked her back.

She dropped tears and quickly tried to conceal the situation by holding her hand on her stomach and said; awww the baby is kicking and is moving.

“Wow really”.

 I have never seen but only heard of such activities…kamala does it hurt? How can u say that it’s a kick it can be a punch. What you say? We both laughed. We succeed to conceal the tears of unspoken words. But I was wondering what could be hiding beneath this innocent lady.

She was honest enough telling me her stories. She started and then there wasn’t stop. She spoke it all. I was like numb. I had the Goosebumps all over my body and annoyed for sure. I couldn’t bear it when she revealed that her husband eloped with her younger sister who was only 16 and left her all alone on that hushed place in her pregnancy stage. She had no money, no ideas to get to the city, and not even any means of communication to think what to do next. She said that her husband kept her behind in that place for nine years.

‘I feel raw didi. I feel bad that I can’t do anything now. I am good for nothing. Now I have this baby inside me. I am worried for my children. Yestai ho didi, abha ma k garney’.My husband might be here anytime. Please don’t let him know about certain things we spoke about.

 I saw a scared face in her.

Kamala is very nice woman and a caring mother. She was with me most of the time. I spoke with her like friend after that and like a sister. She showed me some places around the village and took me to a school since she knew I like kids.

It was all a good experience with her. Thinking about the moments in pokhara, I always remember Kamala and I wish to see her new born daughter.

When I left, I left my number since it was only the means of communication we can possibly have. I left with a promise to visit her again.

Smile to life. J