an evening from my 365 days

I was walking down the way of Pokhara Lakeside all alone because my friends decided to eat at a Chinese and I suddenly couldn’t forced to sit at the table confronting a fish on our table. So I decided to take a walk instead, I just lost the appetite that very moment of seeing a fish finely decorated with some corianders, if I am not wrong but I don’t exactly what it was, all I could remember was the eyes of the fish and felt as it was staring at me.

It was the month of October, 5:32 exactly in the evening, I was tired of thinking over and over again about certain thing of my life which I can never change no matter what. I was tired indeed. My mind appealed me to take a rest.

All I could feel was the cool breeze around my neck and ears. My hairs were moving over my face. I was holding them back from face. The only shawl I had that moment gave me comfort to hide me from the cold. I took it once again and rolled myself to keep me warm for long. My arms wrapped around my knee and my chin resting on, all I could see was single boat fishing all alone as I was sitting there all alone watching it’s way of living.  Then I thought how we are similar in a way. The only difference is he is doing fishing for living and I was doing nothing. I was very confused. I was annoyed. I was lost and honestly I had forgotten how to dream. Why ???????? I didn’t know or I never wanted to converse about it with anyone rather than just buried them all deep inside me and I was happy with it though sometimes it was complicated to load them in heart for so long but have to adjust with the time and moment that you are breathing for. God! Am I paying high for taking this daily gulp of air or am I just living a normal human life which is full unwanted excitements. I felt like spitting all the things right there at the very moment then I found it’s not easy. No matter how much I try to conceal with my laughter and smile, I will always be faking myself and I know it better than anyone can understand me.

My phone rang, it was my friend, and I pressed the silence mode of the phone to go it silent and didn’t bother to receive it. I brought my normal appearance on my face back and I could hear people talking near me.

Before leaving the place where I spend few minutes of my life, I saw this beautiful serene scene. I was gazing at the splendid view. The view was full of virginity and all I wanted to do was to capture it,  I started taking some snaps. When I was taking some random photographs with my digital Samsung camera, I saw a group of kids doing chatter batter…..and all I could remember was a boy commenting on camera, actually my camera unknowing that I could understand Nepali he said;

Aajkal yesto digital camera sabai ko haat ma huncha yaar, baru tyesto (pointing to foreigner’s DSLR) po ta heabby dammi huncha yaar. Photo pani heabby dammi aucha.(These day everyone has such camera in everyone’s hand but gesturing with his expressions to a foreigner’s DSLR, those cameras are damn good and the photographs are damn good as well)

I left the place with a smile and with a moment in my camera. I was back to my own track.

 ~Smile to life~

how i wish to sit here again, so let the October month fall again~ C yah

the only boat which added a beauty to the scene!