One fine Saturday evening..

It was a Saturday evening; I was on my foot down the swyambhu street.I was following my way to get to my destination. I saw an old Tibetan woman walking slowly looking down very carefully as if like she has lost something.
She looked really old. She might be over 70 and she looked really weak. Actually She looked like any ordinary Tibetan old
Grannies of her age who would collect mantras and circumambulation around Boudhanath and Swyambhu stupa.
She was wearing heavy Tibetan dress which was grey in color and had well-matched with a woolen sweater. She was wearing brown hat to protect herself from the heat of the sun. She had a round face, full of wrinkles, small eyes which winked often, she was wearing a thick power glass which seemed like, it had been remain unrepaired and one can easily notice the thread which had been nicely supporting one side of her Spectacle. She was wearing an interesting shoe which looked quite expensive as it had its name tag written “Adidas”.
Suddenly, my eyes caught on the back bag she was carrying. She was carrying two jumbo empty bottles of coke and sprite which grabbed my attention for a while which naturally aroused a kind of curiosity in me and I could not stop myself from asking the reason.
“Momola (Respect word pronounced to grannies in Tibetan) why are you carrying those empty bottles in your back bag”. 
She turned to me carefully and gave a beautiful smile. I was right there waiting for question to be answered. But without a single word, she left and continued to her walk. I was like Numb, and got lost as she didn’t even utter a word and left in silent. I felt like one of the statues around the Swoyambhu. With the confusion in my head I asked to myself  “God! Did I ask something wrong or it was too bad to question?”
I turned to her and found out that she had kept the distance of 10 to 15 steps and was still walking slowly. With the questions in my head I walked fast and followed her steps. Within no time I was soon by her side. I acted as if nothing really happened and stayed confident as if I didn’t get rejection. It was funny that, I was actually searching for a way to create a situation where we can share some words. We were sharing every steps together but without any word. If anyone would see us then, they would surely think that we are like a granny and a granddaughter walking together. This was really funny and I was still trying my best to start a word but was still scared if she would pass by me without a word. As I was walking with every pace with her, I would slightly look at her and try to smile again and again to make her feel good that I am trying to give her company but to my bad luck that was completely in her own world. She was still walking with her head down as if like she doesn’t care anything about what’s going around her. Silence remained for a while, I took a deep breath if disappointment and pouted face I was about to say her good bye. Without more ado, asked me
“Bhumo (girl pronounced in Tibetan) where are you from?” 
I was completely shocked and very happy that finally she spoke to me. My eyes wide open, with a polite expression on my face, I replied

“Momola, I am from Boudha” I smiled at her and finally this time she noticed me giving her smile. I was like “yes I did it”. 
She looked at me carefully and actually she was trying to read my expression. I stayed still with a smiling face. She again looked at me and asked
“So the empty bottles In my bag made u walk with me right?” 
I turned to her and said “Do you know you are beautiful and I am sure you must have been very beautiful when you were young.” 

With a loud laugh and slightly touching her eye glass, she said “you are very clever “. 
She instantly said "Everyday around this time I come here to do circumambulation, at the same time I bring two or three bottles to fill up water”. 

With the water in her back bag, she had to walk like around half an hour by her walk to get to her place. She was frequently reciting mantras with the thread of beads while talking. Her hands were dry and all wrinkled, her nails were long but clean. She would often touches her eyes, seemed like she had an eye infection. Her words were not clear while talking so I was like Lah Lah?( I beg your pardon, in a polite way). Through our short conversation I came to know that she was staying at the ‘old age home’, and she would get like hundred rupees every month for expenses from the old aged home. I was thinking, what a woman of her age would do with hundred rupees a month and what can it cover of her needs. Questions rolled over me and at the same time, the Green colored note with the rhino animals print of it haunted in front of me. 

With so many questions in my head, i was feeling confused, whether I should ask them or not. I thought this is the moment I have to capture and to get to know her. So I swiftly asked “ if she had a family or children?” 
She stood silence for while. I know the question wasn’t difficult but the question itself had emotional stories of her life.
We took a rest at one of the bench beside the road where there were beautiful flowers. She turned to the left side (I was at her right side) and took deep breath. She slightly put her bag on her lap and uttered in a soft voice “bhumo (girl pronounced in Tibetan) I had a very loving husband, who was a soldier and lost his life in a battle. I have a son who is hanging here and there wasting time and doesn't really care if m alive or dead. I have a daughter who is married and staying with her in laws family. While she was talking about her daughter, she prayed for her good future with her husband. 

I could see the tears in her eyes twinkling like the bright diamonds. And those diamonds were priceless. The tears could not stay for long in eyes, it drenched her dried face. I am sure within those teardrops she had immense of hidden pain and emotional feelings which she might be hiding from everyone. This moment was indeed depressing but this certain moment of tears made me sink into someone’s life which actually made me know life from a different sight.
There was a fruit stall nearby us, I bought her some fruits and handed them to her. Suddenly my cell phone rang it was my friend yelling at me through the phone for making her wait for long. I gave a smile to her in a hope to get a smile back. She smiled and it was indeed a million dollar smile for me. I asked for the permission to leave and said good bye to her. She gently put her hands on my head wished me a good future. I still remember her selfless words whenever I am sad.
That very moment, I learnt that no matter how much we are touched by the pain and suffering, we can still make our life beautiful with love and hope. We should never hurt our parents. Even if we are having the larger than life happiness, what is the value of that happiness if our parents are shedding tears somewhere in the corner? Even if we have only a single bread to eat, we can make that single bread a happy satisfying meal if we think of trying with love. 

I hope she remembers me sometimes, with a hope and with lots of love for the Momola, i will wish to see her beautiful wrinkle face with the same million dollar smile on her face.

Photographs are taken by Miss dolkaa a wanderer.

Smile to Life.

New 2012 with same Me~

The first week of the New Year, and I feel like everything is going the same as it was back in the 2011.
Well when the people are worrying that the world will end in 2012, I am welcoming it wide arms to beautify my coming days with positivity.

Everything is going the same; I am still late to rise and late to bed. I am having bread and butter tea for the breakfast as usual. I am enjoying the Tamang piro alu and the puri roll at Boudha for ten rupees as usual. Arguing with my sister Dolkaa  for no reason like always and there comes my Amala yelling at both of us, oh yes waiting for the load sheddings to go lesser which is very much annoying because i can't always carry the mobile charger all the. This is what goes the same whenever think of doing something new. So I ended up making plans now and I am serious as this Year 2012 and the world is ending. Hahahah.

Back then years,I was always buying new diary and making new resolutions secretly at the start of my new diary, but this year well I am going with flow. I mean I won’t be buying a new diary for the New Year and i still haven't got it. Seriously its the first week of first month of the year and I still don’t have a diary with me now but I am already missing writing because there are many things i don't want to miss to jot down and really want to recall them in the coming days. I will get it soon from Thamel for this time but the Nepali paper made, have to try the product.
I usually gift myself with new shoes every year because I believe fine shoes will take you to fine places. But this year I have bought anything yet. I have noticed a shoe in Charles and Keith store where I get myself enjoying surrounded by shoes, so I am thinking to get it for myself. It is going to be a New Year treat for myself.
I wanted to spend my New year in Pokhara as i love the place dearly but it didn't happen. I am feeling the adventures me is missing somewhere, i have to find it out now.

Well New Year is going fine so far.

Sabai thik thak chali rahey ko cha.

But I wonder what the 2012 has stored something for me. I am very anxious to know but how can I roll the time fast right and I don’t want to get older too so let go with the flow of time. I don’t have new resolutions so far so there is no need to pressure myself. I will walk with swiftness of time and will enjoy throughout. No matter how I try my best go with some changes for the New Year, I know majority of my time from the year 2012 will engaged with work, that is why I don’t like making resolutions.

Well I am glad that I got certain things in my life in the year 2011 and have to get some certain things still, so will be working on it better way. 2011 was depressing in some way but I don’t have space to think about them.

~new dreams will push us to new life~

:)

So enjoy the New Year with new you!

Smile to life!

New Year and My Birthday!

My birthday is around. No matter how much I try to avoid thinking about it, it keeps coming on my mind. I have heard people saying, I don’t want to do anything this time on my birthday and so did I say it a few days before to my dear ones. But honestly speaking, there is something that is popping in my mind and I feel like having fun with fullest this birthday.

My birthday is on 1^st of January, therefore a New Year at the same time. I know I have double reason to celebrate this day with lots of love and crazy things to bring in life but there is a bit of fear in my mind thinking over the plan that I have with me. I am thinking to do bungee at the last resort in Tatopani but have to make everything possible, or how about getting inked on my palm or shall I go for paragliding again. I will be wasting money, but then its worth doing paragliding, Arrggg I am confused.

Last year birthday, I landed in Reggae bar out of plan after the dinner with my dears. I did miss one of my very close friends Tsering on that day as she was fond of the place too and it had been just a month that she left for Canada. All and all the music and my friends presence made me feel first-class. A glass of white Russian was enough for me. kelsang ,sewan, my sister, tenkelsang, dorjee we were like crazy singing along with the band members.

It will be a year by few days that I still didn’t get gift from my friend Kelsang and Sewan, hahahah. It’s in pending so that I will get double this year. Hello kelsang and sewan did you guys hear me?????

Well I thought to welcome Dr Marten’s mary jane shoes this year to start my new year with a new shoes but it didn’t work and even thought about getting it through shipping but it really cost close to hell. And I can’t pay that living in Nepal. So friends’, shipping is kind of expensive if you are thinking about buying something online hai. Let’s see what I will be doing this year, I may end up posting a new post in my blog staying home and going for a dinner with Family. But still there are plans dancing in my mind and bit confused too….

Khoi k garum k garum, ??

Tara kehi ta pakki garnu parcha jasto cha, tara k,..????? L

lost in the fear lol..

i was literally shaking and couldn't hear him giving me instructions...bad bad me..

There i Go Finally leaving all the fears behind, my friend kelsang captured the moment i couldn't do anyway!

There i was talking with the pilot with so much of anxieties..

i managed to look smiling here but then,

There i was feeling Dizzy and i feel like ok now this is done! but i enjoyed thoroughly the time flying like a bird.. 

Pokhara is not only about Lakeside tourist bling bling place, its about beauty of nature and i love this particular place, 45 minutes away from Lakeside on boat! and it will cost you 500 rupees, but its worth going to this place! <3

Smile to Life.

is love blind......????

“Love is blind ho rey yaar, kya thees cha keti ta, malai ta wakka lagcha.” A random line I heard two friends talking, when I swiftly passed by them and positively made me think if it was.

Some give up families, friends, relatives, tradition and everything to forge a new modern life based on LOVE. There seems no way to correct it, no way to stop it.

People do every crazy way to keep their love with themselves. People who are in love are all ready to give up their own life for the person they love. Am I exaggerating here?? I guess I am. Making it short and sweet, I mean to say that people who are madly in love can do anything, yes I said anything.

Love brings smile on the face; love brings energy to keep the bond exceptionally beautiful. I agree with this fact that love beautifies everyone’s life in special way. People who are in love sees everything beautiful, they feel wonderful like never before, they will take care of themselves as there is no tomorrow, they becomes conscious of how to present themselves in front of the person their heart melts, love makes them to do special on their love’s special day like birthday just to witness the surprised face of their love. Love, love, love, love, love, seems like love has the strongest power of anything. Everything has reason and love has its own reason which makes people go crazy.

There seems no stopping when it comes to the point of loving your love and wanting to keep that bond with you stronger like no one can dare to raise a doubt about it. Sometimes people go to an extreme level of test to prove their love for one particular person and some even gets stand to their test with appreciations for their bond which is good for its own reason.  Yes, it’s good.  You feel like winner when people around you admire your wills for your love. You feel like ‘yes you have got it all and Smile with a great satisfaction gazing at the result of the beautiful bond you have achieved, but have ever tried to think for a moment that you are the one and only reason of bringing the continuous tears around some people who were once the most desirable people in your life??

Nothing seems to work when you are badly in love; nothing seems to work to change your mind, the advices from your dear ones seems like the bitterest poison, every single section seems like the piercing pain when everyone goes against your new attachment. You feel like running all away just to be with the person you admire and leaving all those bonds that you already have with you. This is why people call; love has its own reason of craziness.

I have heard a dialogue in movie once “ maine tumhare liye dhan, ayesho-aram yaha tak ki apne ma bap ko hi chod diya” (I left my wealth behind, the luxury and even my parents behind just for you)

Isn’t this insane??

My very good friend told me a story of a monk who appeared out of blue in a restaurant when we were waiting for our sandwich, average height of around 5’9 stood in front of us and smiled to my friend.  She smiled him back. Later she told me that the monk was a normal man who once had a family and he loved his wife madly but all of sudden she left him. There the guy being in the state of depression and fed of life he chose to be a monk the rest of his life. He is a monk now. Every time I see him, this thought strokes me; does the woman who left him have any about this fact of the man who was once her half life is now a monk? Will she ever care to give a reaction to this outcome of her movement?  Will she ever try to give an explanations or any sort of apology will come in the days???? Whenever I think of this man, I mean this monk a cool breeze of fear runs through my thoughts and I get hang up for a while gasping with discomfort and again think is this all now, this is what w call a love is, or this is a negative creation of love, whatever at the end its always the same emotion people go through.

Just like the above story, What if the person behind all your craziness doesn’t understands you in anyway?

What if that person always complains and complains beside all your hardships that you have placed for this only happiness of yours?

What if the love which is the major reason of your craziness suddenly leaves you alone, then what? What goes in your mind, what you will do and what will be your situation then?

Depressions, regret, suicide, revenge or forgetting everything behind and starting a new life with a new you is all you have??? And is it that simple as the story of the monk. I bet not.

There is nothing like a regret that will remind you time and again that you are alive and alive with certain mistakes you have done in your life. Learn to love the love with modesty without bringing any tears to your dears when you are totally lost in a new happiness. I personally and strongly believe in it, and I am sure every one of you too after all Being loved and being in love is beautiful and it’s perfect when you have the right person to share that special attachment of love till the end of your life with respect for all.

What say???

Smile to life J

do you see anything else beside love now???

is love really blind???? lol

~thoughts of the day~

i love the all these different shirts...

something that will remain within me~

Today here I am going to write about what I literally think of being a youth and most importantly being a Tibetan among you dear Tibetan. This is going to be only my personal views and my individual thoughts as a Tibetan living in between the country I was born and brought up. I was born in Dehradun India and brought up in Kathmandu, Nepal.

Sounds interesting right, a Tibetan who was born in India and brought up in Nepal. I am sure there are many cases like mine whose identity is related between three countries i.e.  Nepal, India and Yes Tibet.

I belong to a normal Tibetan khampa family who holds this special place for our one and only ‘His Holiness the Dalai lama’. I remember my parents once telling me when I was a kid, Kundun “H.H. the Dalai Lama” is only what we Tibetans have, so consider him as your God, your master, your parents and pay all the respect and esteem to him for our sake. But never felt the words validate until I first had an audience with the Dalai Lama in Darjeeling Sonada during my primary school days. Like every other young school students, I was giggling and playing with my peers in the queue to welcome our Kundun.  At that time, all I could see was a man covered in red clothes and his both hands folded, turning to the people with this Smile (smile which is beyond my description when I am writing this). All I saw was a man in red dress smiling at us, and there I go, I was shedding tears instantly. What were the tears for?? That was the only question rising and falling within me but there was nobody to answer my one single question as I was asking the question within me and to myself only.

“Kundun ‘H.H. the Dalai Lama’ is only what we Tibetans have”. The words sparked back my memories and I was truly smiling then. That very moment I knew what my parents wanted to make me understand. Dalai Lama has a special place in every Tibetan’s heart; it’s the undeniable fact from the history of Tibet till now. I have a strong belief in my Kundun, on our Dalai Lama and the belief certainly suggests me to stand as a fine citizen of Tibet, to everyone who has faith in him. But the question arises, are you standing as a fine Tibetan in the society? Are you?

When I was in school our Tibetan teachers would always come up with the guidance to study hard, to do good deeds for the country, to earn name in the society by being a fine Tibetan, then they would conclude their advice with the line “you children should never forget that you are the future seeds of Tibet” you got it students?                                                                                                                     

                                                      Other than anything, we would, at that time, nod our head as an obedient follower and sanction our teacher’s piece of advice.

Do you ever remember yourself considered as the future seeds of Tibet?? Well I do, and I am sure every Tibetans are closely familiar with this. So what are “Future seeds of Tibet” and where are the future seeds of Tibet now?

It is a high time to think over this fact and remember this as a responsibility that every individual holds; but it’s your own choice if you take this responsibility, fake it or just leave it. 

“You are the future seeds of Tibet” The lines still haunts me whenever I attend a function or any gathering around the Tibetan community and it did, once again recently when I was there in the monastery to attend an important day for our people to celebrate. The expressions of the words are still as fresh as it was once when whispered to my ears. And today, I hear them all over again. I start to grow uneasy inside thinking over the thoughts that runs like a never-stopping-marathon-race and the question beeps again “What am I doing being a Tibetan in a free country where we have the right to speak, make a movement to salvation and when we still have doors to knock to hear our words of  truth?” I swear I feel disheartened when I realize that the future seeds of once upon a time still has not made it to a plant.

And the time is approaching near to pass the same saying to the coming generation. I am afraid if this is going to be a never ending trade. I may not be wrong if I question how long is it going to continue to bypass the saying and how long we are going to wait for the future seeds to make it into a concrete tree and give shelter of wisdom. Question approaches when?

I see people wearing Tibetan slogans of shirts, caps and even  bags in the midst of crowd, I feel delighted but again another question makes yet another place in my crammed thoughts;  do u think that will affect in the mind of the people or will it ever bring better shape to the current situation of country? Or this act of wearing some slogans around the places is the only attempt to your country?

It’s very important for you to think about who you are in reality beside all those are branded shoes, clothes, the handsome paying job or whatever you think adds a personality to you. What are you and who are you?

If you think you have earned a name in the society then go in front of the mirror and ask yourself if you have done anything as a Tibetan for your country Tibet? If not then it’s time to think and bring changes in you, me, us and our thinking no matter wherever we are. We should never forget that we are the only “second class citizen” who often forgets our certain Dream of responsibility living as an exile.

Son of a bitch?

I was hungry enough to get faint on the way to Durbar marg, I was searching the right place to eat so that I can get back to my business.

Sometimes you get confused what to eat when you are surrounded by all those fancy and over rated restaurants around rather than their food taste.

Without any delay I made my way straight to ‘Hot Breads’ to have pastries. I had two chocolate truffles which brought me the energy to start my business again. I had spare time so I ordered for fries. I was cleaning my hands with the paper napkin which has their clear logo of ‘hot breads’ when I heard a man with husky voice talking on the phone next to me;

‘What, what did you just say? Don’t get me mad when I am already uptight of the office work’.

There was a bit silence then.

One of the waiters noticed the bothered face of the man. The man was still listening to the person whoever it was on the phone like a student gives keen interest on getting the lesson of a chapter. Since the man was just next to my table I could easily notice that he was raising his index finger round the handle of the coffee cup with confused face.

The only thing the man was constantly saying was ; It wasn’t like that,

                                                                                               but, listen, God listen, harey k bancha!

An invitation for silent moment again emerged.

I was enjoying the fries with the ‘momo Achar ‘.

The man on the phone got furious enough in answering the phone. The only thing I heard very clear and loud was his ‘Shut up’ words. His command ‘shut up’ just dragged everyone’s attention out of blue and one of them was obviously me wondering what is going on?

He hanged up the phone saying ‘Bitch’ in very low sound. I was very close to him which made this possible to hear the annoying word ‘bitch’.

He asked for the bill and headed to the counter reaching his purse from his back pocket. He then left from the counter murmuring;

‘It’s hard to understand woman ‘.

The waiter looked at me in disguise and pouted his lower lips and raised his eye brows trying to understand the matter and that was little funny.

The man in the formal uniform left, I heard the word ‘bitch’ literally in the middle of finishing my fries, the waiter got back to his work to serve the pouring customers, the table was cleaned again and everything was normal back.

I was at my own position on the table dipping the fries in the momo Achar and relaxing for a while but there was something that was rolling like a stone in my mind and as I gulped a mouthful of water question aroused within me;

Did the man just say ‘It’s hard to understand woman ‘?                                 

I wonder with the fact that every time there is something not going right between a man and a woman , why does the conversation always stopped with the line ‘It’s hard to understand these woman ‘.

Seems like man quality is such in high position that he could use the word bitch anywhere he wants and anytime he is pissed. Yes the word bitch.

IF women are the real bitches then men should never forget that they are the real son of those real bitches, what say?

Son of a Bitch!

An animations says it all.

Om!

MeeRa " A girl among us"

U fail to know me, if u judge me!

It was the third day of Nepal bandha. I was feeling bored and looking for a good way to pass my day. I took a book called “Sold” written my ‘Patricia’ from my book shelf and a packet of ‘Lays’ chips from the kitchen and entered my room to continue with the story. But the kids playing next to our building really disturbed me. I found myself eating the lays only and the book was on the pillow opened with the book marker placed in between. My room was a total mess. My table was crammed with books, a mug, my pen drive, article papers from the workshop, camera, and red nail polish and so on. The Om (nepali) print with the psychedelic color that lay on the wall added a charm to my room. I headed to the TV room to watch some good programs. The repeated Indian reality show programs made me sleepy when my Amala (mother) with a loud shouted,
“These Nepal bandhas don’t even let us have fresh vegetables”. She was showing me the shopping bag. I nodded as she was saying all those things about vegetables and Nepal bandha. I was really not interested to listen to same monotonous issues. I was scratching my head for a way and thinking for a way to skip from the situation when I received a call from a friend of mine and she said
“Oie Lhamo lets go for cycling”.
We agreed and headed towards Tusal where one of our friends was waiting. We left from home with the doubt if we could get any cycles at that time for hire. We could see everyone on the road cycling from every age. People were walking on the road. Kids were playing badminton, football in the middle of the way; youngsters were buying peanuts, ice cream, fruits from the vendors. Rickshaw riders seemed really happy with the tourist, though they were drenched in sweat.
We walked through tusal. As we passed through the gate of Boudha Gemini Supermarket, we asked one of the passersby and got to know that cycles were available for hire in Kumarigal. The moment when we arrived at Kumarigal, there weren’t any cycles. Without any choice we had to wait for the cycles in the nearby local restaurant. . It was a simple an ordinary restaurant. A single room with the kitchen attached with two tables. We were little hungry and one of my friend asked if anyone of us wanted to have something. Since we had plenty of time to wait, we ordered Vegetable chowmein, Roti and Alu, omelet and tea and decided that we would share them all. It was an ordinary restaurant.
We were talking with each other about the condition of Nepal and the people, the society and the way the people think in the society. Just then a girl’s threw her voice in between our conversation but we didn’t give any importance to her and continued with our own chat but time and again she interrupted, trying to make her presence in our discussion. Her constant act made me give a keen look at her.
She had a look of a teenage girl. Her eyes were beautifully art done with the black eye liner of the seventies Bollywood actresses which can easily grab the attention of anyone. Her messy haircut (totally short from back and a long threat like at the check bones) gave her the look of a rock star. Her golden, red and blue colored bangles (which now a day’s teenagers would try to match with their style and clothes) sprinkled a pinch of lady look in her. She was wearing a simple red and black v-neck shirt with the light blue skinny jeans. A black converse shoe which had double laces of black and white added a style and well I could notice her studded leather belt. She has a beautiful clear skin, no blemishes and not even a single pimple on her face. I have heard that beauty is the skin deep and yes looking at her skin, it made me feel that “she really had the beauty”. She had pierced her left side nose with a silver ring which actually gave me the feel that she can be either Rai limbu or Gurung.
She was reading a Nepali newspaper and said “kya Bhopal jagada bhayecha mao-vadi ra police ko yaar” to one of the young guy who was next to her. The guy was sleeping with his arms folded on the table. But he didn’t avoid whenever the girl asked something. She was ordering this and that to the guys around her, who gave me the feel that she was one of the powerful character of a woman of the Indian movie.
One fair guy with yellow green colored shaggy hair appeared suddenly and said something in a very low voice to her. She then got up and went inside the restaurant with the guy searching for something in her jeans pocket. After a couple of minutes they came out and she said something which was out of my knowledge. The guy left and she came back to the place where she was sitting before. I looked at her hands which were swollen. The way she spoke and the way she pronounced the words were uncertain and it seemed as if something was wrong with this girl. She looked sleepy and it would take a while to make her understand what we are actually talking about. I was very much interested to know this girl who seemed really gutsy about every word she uttered. Her every sentence gave me this vibe that she was indeed a local youngster spending their time hanging in groups. She was frequently using the words Saale, hawrey, as though she enjoyed it.
Her every movement captivated me and I asked her, “timi k garchau”? She looked at me and said “mero budha le malai hercha.”
She seemed proud while answering this, she looked happy with whoever he was. She seemed too young to get in a relation like marriage but when I asked her about her age, she was 25. Then without a delay I made my comment to appreciate about her beauty. She was with all smiles. With a surprised expression on my face, unbelieving the fact that she was 25 I said immediately “timi lai thaha cha ,timi dheray ramri chau ra timi pacchis varsha ko jasto dekhdaina” (do you know how beautiful you are and you don’t look like 25) with unwilling smile on her face she looked at everyone and said “k garne ramri bhayera ,na yo ramri aanuhar chaatnu milcha na khanu milcha.
Her certain answer made me know that this girl has seen a lot of things about this society and her life. Though her answer sounded bit too straight forward but there lied a bitter truth which is accepted by most of the people.
The fair guy popped again and whispers something in her ear, with an annoying appearance on her face she said
“la la pachas rupaiya baadi deu bhana”.
I was totally unheard of what was actually going on, what were they murmuring about, what relation she had with those young guys.
The fair guy left again and the next time he came, he handed her with some money. She put it in her jeans pocket without even counting.
I was anxious to know what the money was for. She looked happy. She looked at the guy next to her and said ‘Oie jata…churot kinera lyau ta…
“Paisa chaina”…..the guy.
“Salee…la hawrey…firta paisa ta rakh…” Her.
The guy came back chewing a gum, he handed the packet to her. She took out a cigarette and guy picked up the lighter from the table and offered to light it. She started to enjoy every puff. Every time she inhaled the smoke, she would close her eyes..and I don’t know why….
I asked her name and she replied “Meera”.
She added ‘Tusal ko Meera bhanera sodhnu…va lady punch Sabai le chincha”
“ho ra..sabailey chincha timilay…tyeso bhaye timro dherai saathi cha hola ….hoina Meera?”
“Saathi ?“giving an irritating smile…’kasko saathi ko saathi”?meera ko kohi saathi chainna”. Said Meera.
She didn’t give any further answer. She remained quiet. She ordered chowmein, momo , and sukuti for packing. She even told the restaurant didi to make it quick with Achar separately. When asked where she was going she said “mama ko ghar ma janu parcha buda lai khana dinnu”
“Mama ko ghar…… Buda lai khana……… kina” I asked
“Mama ok ghar bhanaiko…police chauki ke”…
She told us in short that she and her husband got caught by police while dealing with the drug on the way to Maitinagar. But she was later released when her so called husband reported that drugs were not related to her and she was innocent about it.
I found myself talking to a drug dealer. It was fascinating for me to come to know about these people. Their every gesture seemed different and I found myself interested to know more. I liked the way she was talking, though her words sounded like bit too harsh or straight forward but I like the way she spoke. There wasn’t any pretention or consciousness in her and I really liked it.
I asked her if she was involved in any drug. Without any hesitation she replied “brown”.
I was like “brown?”. She said “maile drug chodney try gareko ho tara ma relapse bhaye”
There was frustrating expression on her face when she revealed this fact. This single word “relapse” made her shattered and I can see that in her face.
Restaurant didi hurriedly came with the packing and said “Meera baheni timro packing”
“ Katti bhayo didi”
“Ek sai pachatar”(Rs 175)
Meera stood up. Left the money on the table.
She gave smile to everyone of us. Before leaving she told one of the guy to hire cycles for us. She turned back again and holding the packet, she said…kaam paryo bhane lady punch lai samjinnu…
Smile to Life

J