fluctuating feelings....

photo from a long time ago me watching the whole kathmandu city....night view was awesome then...

I loved him so dearly believing he is the man of my life…
loving secretly inside and hiding the feelings within was tough..
So tough that it annoyed me often…
Playing hide and seek with the feelings were never easy …
but it saddens me to death when I feel you are just a boy and not the man I want to cherish for long… 

Mashutzo Writes.

Deja'Vu morning....

Boudhanath Stupa;

place to purify  body, speech and mind

Brushed my teeth, washed my face, and with a lazy expression on my face, I walked from home.

It was 6:30 in the morning 10^th of july 2012…Location Boudha.

I walked through the cozy and narrow way inside the Boudha-Stupa. With the mystified mind carrying heavily with me, I was surely thinking something which I realized when I reached the place where I normally get seated, had no idea how I reached there at once.

I watched around, it was the same place and same faces but the place looked bit crowded.

I came after a while for the prostrations as I was occupied with my schedules, which turned out to be confused thing for me.

I opened my bag. I placed the shawl on the wooden board where prostrations are practice, made my things available at its respective places and got comfortably seated. I could see the eyes of the Boudha-Stupa and felt the feeling that they can ease everything. But the reality hits, I was right there seated with puzzled mind.

How long the eyes of Boudha-Stupa can ease me with my mystified mind??? Still unknown….

I didn’t know, if I should feel fortunate to see the new sun-rise of the new day to utilize it in a better way or should I be feeling unpleasant about the fact that nothing works by keeping the positive mind only. The only thing I knew that very moment was, I was inhaling air, I was experiencing the fresh morning clear blue sky, and I was hearing the pigeons while picking the grains from the earth. Lucky Pigeons…

My mind was off for a while.

The smell of sweats of the guy next to me woke me. I acted as if nothing was bothering. I turned to my left and saw a young Nepali guy with curly hair and a back-bag beside him; his eyes shut, I am sure he was more intended on inhaling and exhaling….

Then I turned to my right and saw the same regular Uncle who comes every morning and evening for the prostrations. He gestured to ask me; when did I arrive?

I just nodded my head…was that an answer for his question?

Everyone around me were busy chanting mantras, practicing meditations and prostrations and I was seeking something…it was certainly PEACE of mind….

Sometimes and several times this happens to me when I seek answers from everywhere for the number of questions….Many times the questions remained unanswered. This happened this morning too.

And I walked off with unanswered questions again……

P.S Photos donka.

 Mashutzo writes..

thought of the day~

I feel good,
I feel like smiling all day,
I feel like making a shout out loud,
I feel Delighted just because I did it.

Sometimes giving a share of happiness in someone’s Life feels like the perfect victory of satisfaction.
It doesn’t really take complicated effort nor it consumes time and energy, all it takes is a will from the heart and there you see getting to what you have been thinking to ‘make it’.

It’s so possible if you have a will to do it from your heart, you can make anything possible and you can make people happy with your single thought for something Good.

Yesh Yesh,
So far I am loving the way it is taking beautiful moments down the lane,
And I am happy to be part of the happiness and smiling hearts around me,
down on the corner, I do sometimes think if you people and smile,
Love for you Both and take good care of everything that bounds you together.
Keeps the love growing with the each new expression of Feelings and love……
Take care~
Mashutzo Writes~

~My Din-Chyak Partner~

That's our Sumati in the Middle~

It’s been more than a while that our Beautiful Sumati has left for Australia.

And I am disliking this Fact.
Yes I said it now because I see people out here already missing her like every time when there is any small gathering.

I do hear anyone from the group saying, 'It would be more fun if Sumati could be here to share this moment'. I know right, how  this feels when the charm of your fun isn't around~

A lady with the looks and a perfect partner to have fun, She is a full package of a person to have fun. There isn't any quiet or dull moment when she is around.
Its like she can wrapped everyone around her finger, kidding~

I will never forget the her that Friday Night that we got to spend together with the Group. It was something else than just an amazing Friday.
My Goodness! The bottles of Vodka in our bag were the funniest thing I have ever done in my entire Life. I Swear!

We bought two small bottles of Vodka from a nearby store and went to a nearby Bar and ordered only Coke and what, we dared to do it, we mixed the vodka with coke and acted as if everything was more than normal. God! now this is how you save money, but this is something embarrassing if you get caught hai pheri, be careful from the eyes of the waiters lol.

You are soooooo Spontaneous in everything to come up with darling sumati. Bole-toh Ekdam Dammi my Din-chyak partner.

I am literally smiling when I am writing this remembering the funny dance moves you did that night of Gay and Lesbian, never knowing the fact that it was actually a Gay-Lesbian night.

Lucky Gays.

I think we were drunk to some extend but our good and best boys did remain in balance.

It was a night to remember and we had few of such nights already, but now the question is, when again????

Well the below words are from her, she wrote in one of my wall-post which shows that she already is missing us like we do....

 "i terribly miss Kathmandu and our outings n still thinking about our last outing when we got drunk n danced like anything :D abo yaha Din-chyak partner chai kaha khojne hola ni ? *sob sob*"

we do still miss you, i hope to have the same fun again in life no matter after how many years and no matter where,i am sooo ready to have fun with you~
Mashutzo Writes~