trapped eyes in the darkness....

There it was,
an empty room,
an empty space,
spacious.
Moved here and there,
found nothing,
only smokes and darkness,
where I could hardly see anything.
It was shadowy that ended up seeing only eyes,
they sparkled,
they said stories,
they listened,
they were the Eyes of dreams,
searching the meaning of Life,
trying to console self,
everything will be alright,
But it was nothing but a lie,
spreading in the space of the empty room.
The eyes dropped tears of disappointment.
And settled there for another hope,
another hope to get the answers,
answers of the unknown pain,
which was piercing deep within the heart,
scratching its all skin out.

Mashutzo writes.

Hide and Seek game...

I feel good to see people dropping tears and when they pass out their emotions through tears. I find them timely; at least they can express what they are going through, through all those drops of tears. I mean isn't that great that you can show your emotions, feelings and your concerns through tears.

Every now and then,

The salty drops of water cover the eyes, where it seems hard to hold them tight. I call them tears…

While wondering why all these unstoppable tears love my dry cheeks so dearly,

I run my fingers through the dry skin, with the fear of being observed by the unknown eyes.

I smartly pull the end of my sleeves with my hands and wipe them all…

Have to work it this way,

And I call this yet another day of hide and seek.

Mashutzo Writes.

caught in between the thoughts...

The laughter,

Loud noises,

Preferable music to make your mood go soothe,

The every silly and logical conversation,

The people who make you smile with the moment…

There you go,

Forgetting everything,

You go forgetting who you were minutes before,

You go stopping the doubts,

You go seeing a different person in that moment,

There you go witnessing a different You.

But…

The moment you leave that state of moment,

You find yourself in the real world where you belong,
Wrapped in that silent-room among the four walls,

You feel the Real you,
You see the Real You,

‘Real’ who was once lost few minutes ago,

All enveloped in the world of puzzled questions,

You go seeking the answers single-handedly,

You then left with only the questions.

Mashutzo Writes.

My and Our Monsoon rain

Sometimes the monsoon rain beautifies our gloomy days...
Sometimes the same rain complicates the thoughts of our mind in tiresome way.
Sometimes the same boring rain unknowingly becomes our best experience of life  and it leaves us with a good memory to cherish throughout the living.

Sometimes the same rain brings us the hardest period of time when shedding tears seems like part of joke.

Mashutzo Write.

Random thought on a piece of napkin...

One thing that rolls in woman’s heart about man are certainly “Is he strong enough to be my man to cherish this life from a different approach”.

A woman goes thinking hard “alright all and all a strong-man desires is a wise, homely and loving woman beside him to keep the pace with him if he stumbles”

But how fool of her is that; she lately comprehends the fact that all he wanted was a muted, deaf but beautiful Dummy.

I-was having dinner in one of the regular restaurant in Thamel. When something was going in my mind like ufff i can't even put in the form of words, then i quickly took the napkin and searched for the pen then started to jot them down before i go forgetting everything when i am in-front of the laptop to post something in my blog and it had happened many times. This is the reason why i always keep a pen in my make-up kit.

Venue-Hankook Sarang, Thamel.

Date-14/8/2012.

Time- 8 pm.

Mashutzo Writes.

LoneSome questions????

standing in or out of the crowd doesn't really make any difference to me, i stand who i am stubborn or whatever, i would rather be lonely than being with the wrong personalities.

I live in a city of large communities where people are lonesome together. 
I sometimes or frequently feel lonesome, don't you?
I am sure there are people out there in branded attire and shoes who are feeling what I am feeling.
I am sure there are people who are hiding so much inside and feeling the loneliest person in the world.

You have your own dear siblings at home and seeking for someone outside home to share your inner feeling???
You are newly married to a long term boyfriend and staying home alone on weekends??
You have numbers of friends to hang-out but still searching for the right name to dial??
You have people approaching you for dinner but still waiting for the right one to come over??
You had huge crush on her/ him and waiting if that person comes up with a step??
You love your wife, but knowing and unknowingly you cheated on her back, guilty and looking for a way to conceal the mistake??
You yourself got rid of the relation, now you are regretting on your own decision??

Damn, What is this???

Mashutzo Write.

Never ending Nightingale Nights..

Couple of stress weeks passed since I encountered what I have been avoiding to face.  It’s hard time to take in the air when the moment you caught a lie from the person you give over yourself, the moment when you feel deceived, the moment when you feel naïve not to notice the alarming threats of multiple cheats and the moment when you feel you are worthless.

There is nothing I can do nor can I bring changes in everything that is going around or that has been going around. I am closely introduced with this practical fact know that Regretting for something you have never done is the foolish way to waste time and energy but sometimes being wise seems a problem at certain level of time.

Phur phur phuurrrrr shu shu shu…let all this thoughts go away…

Its 10:08 pm, Date 24/7/2012
my long hair all set freely over my shoulders, neatly dried after the wash.
I rest my back on the wall with the support of the pillow to comfort me when I am lonesome.
Wiped the kaajol and mascara with the wet-tissue papers and placed it on the nearby table. The eye-glass resting on my nose to comfort my eyes, I took the book and turned to the book to page 197. I am reading and I hope I can occupy my uneasy mind for a while now.

i don't want to make my life like a book.

Mashutzo Writes.

Deja'Vu morning....

Boudhanath Stupa;

place to purify  body, speech and mind

Brushed my teeth, washed my face, and with a lazy expression on my face, I walked from home.

It was 6:30 in the morning 10^th of july 2012…Location Boudha.

I walked through the cozy and narrow way inside the Boudha-Stupa. With the mystified mind carrying heavily with me, I was surely thinking something which I realized when I reached the place where I normally get seated, had no idea how I reached there at once.

I watched around, it was the same place and same faces but the place looked bit crowded.

I came after a while for the prostrations as I was occupied with my schedules, which turned out to be confused thing for me.

I opened my bag. I placed the shawl on the wooden board where prostrations are practice, made my things available at its respective places and got comfortably seated. I could see the eyes of the Boudha-Stupa and felt the feeling that they can ease everything. But the reality hits, I was right there seated with puzzled mind.

How long the eyes of Boudha-Stupa can ease me with my mystified mind??? Still unknown….

I didn’t know, if I should feel fortunate to see the new sun-rise of the new day to utilize it in a better way or should I be feeling unpleasant about the fact that nothing works by keeping the positive mind only. The only thing I knew that very moment was, I was inhaling air, I was experiencing the fresh morning clear blue sky, and I was hearing the pigeons while picking the grains from the earth. Lucky Pigeons…

My mind was off for a while.

The smell of sweats of the guy next to me woke me. I acted as if nothing was bothering. I turned to my left and saw a young Nepali guy with curly hair and a back-bag beside him; his eyes shut, I am sure he was more intended on inhaling and exhaling….

Then I turned to my right and saw the same regular Uncle who comes every morning and evening for the prostrations. He gestured to ask me; when did I arrive?

I just nodded my head…was that an answer for his question?

Everyone around me were busy chanting mantras, practicing meditations and prostrations and I was seeking something…it was certainly PEACE of mind….

Sometimes and several times this happens to me when I seek answers from everywhere for the number of questions….Many times the questions remained unanswered. This happened this morning too.

And I walked off with unanswered questions again……

P.S Photos donka.

 Mashutzo writes..