Laugh today, if you wish to live tomorrow.....

Laugh today, if you wish to live tomorrow.

It’s your life, live it the way you want to, laugh out loud in the middle of the way.
Who cares?
Just do it and do it very often please.
You want to wear shorts, go for it, it’s your body and only you know how to comfort it in a best way.
Damn, seriously’ you don’t have to fly to abroad just to wear shorts.
You want to get drunk, go for it, but make sure you are surrounded by your people.
Just live your life in your own principles.
Remember, you are important and you are worthy of great things.
Live your life.

Forgetting everything aside I was happy being in a place where I used to feel uneasy.
Uneasy of being not able to talk and laugh openly, I was trying to keep the person I am secretly safe, but as the time rolled by, the same discomfort zone turned into cool, loud and fun place, well I would rather say a place of collective souls of real fun.

Mashutzo writes.

Jai-Shamboooo..."Shiva-Ratri"

This feels like a piece of shit when you can’t even get a friend to come with you to attend the great Shiva-Ratri which falls once a year in Pashutpatinath Temple.
I was literally searching for a friend who wants to get this early morning blessing from the Lord Shiva.  Its 100 feelings you can actually only feel.

And I was like asking everyone around me including my own sister.
It came as a disappointed not to have anyone around me, but then my sister asked  me what time do you want to go??
When I told her that I want to go around 2-3 early in the morning, she completely freaked out and said No that is so not safe for only girls and that was true in a certain way. ‘

‘But then  I have been to pashupati at such time on Shiva-Ratri and its so much of good feeling, fun to see the devotees from all over the corner coming only for this day’ I replied.

I saw the cold response.

I didn’t even bothered to ask again, but I was looking for someone to come with me, and I even asked to my only friend in here and she directly said ‘No’. Wow that was a quick and a confident response so far. Disappointed me, I went to ask other few people but then I saw no interest in anyone, what the fish, this is Shiva-ratri and it falls only once a year and wonder why isn’t anyone ready for this?

I have seen girls getting seriously ready for New Year eve party like from a week before???? Why not Shiva-Ratri?

It was Sunday 10th march 2013, a National holiday for Shiva-ratri and I was all home displeased of the fact that actually the day was about to end and it was already 5 P.M.

And I felt like the day was about the end and so the Shiva-Ratri, I should be staying like this, I made my sister and g Gyaltsen to come with me to the Pashupati. And to my surprise they agreed.

We took a cab from Boudha  to chabahil, the roads were all blocked. We walked from chabahil and we were a bit worried if it will rain and it did certainly. Thing always go wrong in a wrong time, we had to take shelter in a hotel for rain to stop. It did after few minutes. Thank-God.

We headed from there and we were there at last YaY, this was such a wonderful and amazing feeling for me to see the Lights and the happening numbers of saints and devotees in such an unbelievable way. I loved that Feeling of getting something that you can’t explain.

I made my sister and gyaltsen  line up in a long long queue to get inside the Temple and they were seriously not ready since the lines were shockingly long.  But somehow we were clever enough to slipped through the lines, we did waited for minutes in the another short queue finally  and Finally, I was there in Temple. Wow, that was a Wow feeling.

We saw the saints from the corner of India who were there in the Temple showing their tricks totally NAKED. And I was explaining my sister and Gyaltsen about the naked saints.

How I wanted to take pictures inside of the naked saints but was not possible because of the very tight securities.

It was such an Amazing feeling when I got out of the temple and gave my last look at temple from the entrance.

It was just serene feeling. Peaceful feeling that made my evening.
All thanks to Dolkar and Gyaltsen for bearing the rain, long way walk, and the long queue in bare foot.

Productive evening.

Jai-Shambo…..

Standing there for a photo made me feel the feeling of missing my one crazy friend on this particular day who is over the oceans and far across the distance who couldn't make it this year.....Jai-Shambooo Nakali "Tsering"

Mashutzo Writes.

vanishing words...

When the words printed in these flags can fade away…How possibly can we rely on the words someone has whispered in the chilly cold night?

Mashutzo Writes.

caught in between the thoughts...

The laughter,

Loud noises,

Preferable music to make your mood go soothe,

The every silly and logical conversation,

The people who make you smile with the moment…

There you go,

Forgetting everything,

You go forgetting who you were minutes before,

You go stopping the doubts,

You go seeing a different person in that moment,

There you go witnessing a different You.

But…

The moment you leave that state of moment,

You find yourself in the real world where you belong,
Wrapped in that silent-room among the four walls,

You feel the Real you,
You see the Real You,

‘Real’ who was once lost few minutes ago,

All enveloped in the world of puzzled questions,

You go seeking the answers single-handedly,

You then left with only the questions.

Mashutzo Writes.

My and Our Monsoon rain

Sometimes the monsoon rain beautifies our gloomy days...
Sometimes the same rain complicates the thoughts of our mind in tiresome way.
Sometimes the same boring rain unknowingly becomes our best experience of life  and it leaves us with a good memory to cherish throughout the living.

Sometimes the same rain brings us the hardest period of time when shedding tears seems like part of joke.

Mashutzo Write.

Random thought on a piece of napkin...

One thing that rolls in woman’s heart about man are certainly “Is he strong enough to be my man to cherish this life from a different approach”.

A woman goes thinking hard “alright all and all a strong-man desires is a wise, homely and loving woman beside him to keep the pace with him if he stumbles”

But how fool of her is that; she lately comprehends the fact that all he wanted was a muted, deaf but beautiful Dummy.

I-was having dinner in one of the regular restaurant in Thamel. When something was going in my mind like ufff i can't even put in the form of words, then i quickly took the napkin and searched for the pen then started to jot them down before i go forgetting everything when i am in-front of the laptop to post something in my blog and it had happened many times. This is the reason why i always keep a pen in my make-up kit.

Venue-Hankook Sarang, Thamel.

Date-14/8/2012.

Time- 8 pm.

Mashutzo Writes.

LoneSome questions????

standing in or out of the crowd doesn't really make any difference to me, i stand who i am stubborn or whatever, i would rather be lonely than being with the wrong personalities.

I live in a city of large communities where people are lonesome together. 
I sometimes or frequently feel lonesome, don't you?
I am sure there are people out there in branded attire and shoes who are feeling what I am feeling.
I am sure there are people who are hiding so much inside and feeling the loneliest person in the world.

You have your own dear siblings at home and seeking for someone outside home to share your inner feeling???
You are newly married to a long term boyfriend and staying home alone on weekends??
You have numbers of friends to hang-out but still searching for the right name to dial??
You have people approaching you for dinner but still waiting for the right one to come over??
You had huge crush on her/ him and waiting if that person comes up with a step??
You love your wife, but knowing and unknowingly you cheated on her back, guilty and looking for a way to conceal the mistake??
You yourself got rid of the relation, now you are regretting on your own decision??

Damn, What is this???

Mashutzo Write.

Deja'Vu morning....

Boudhanath Stupa;

place to purify  body, speech and mind

Brushed my teeth, washed my face, and with a lazy expression on my face, I walked from home.

It was 6:30 in the morning 10^th of july 2012…Location Boudha.

I walked through the cozy and narrow way inside the Boudha-Stupa. With the mystified mind carrying heavily with me, I was surely thinking something which I realized when I reached the place where I normally get seated, had no idea how I reached there at once.

I watched around, it was the same place and same faces but the place looked bit crowded.

I came after a while for the prostrations as I was occupied with my schedules, which turned out to be confused thing for me.

I opened my bag. I placed the shawl on the wooden board where prostrations are practice, made my things available at its respective places and got comfortably seated. I could see the eyes of the Boudha-Stupa and felt the feeling that they can ease everything. But the reality hits, I was right there seated with puzzled mind.

How long the eyes of Boudha-Stupa can ease me with my mystified mind??? Still unknown….

I didn’t know, if I should feel fortunate to see the new sun-rise of the new day to utilize it in a better way or should I be feeling unpleasant about the fact that nothing works by keeping the positive mind only. The only thing I knew that very moment was, I was inhaling air, I was experiencing the fresh morning clear blue sky, and I was hearing the pigeons while picking the grains from the earth. Lucky Pigeons…

My mind was off for a while.

The smell of sweats of the guy next to me woke me. I acted as if nothing was bothering. I turned to my left and saw a young Nepali guy with curly hair and a back-bag beside him; his eyes shut, I am sure he was more intended on inhaling and exhaling….

Then I turned to my right and saw the same regular Uncle who comes every morning and evening for the prostrations. He gestured to ask me; when did I arrive?

I just nodded my head…was that an answer for his question?

Everyone around me were busy chanting mantras, practicing meditations and prostrations and I was seeking something…it was certainly PEACE of mind….

Sometimes and several times this happens to me when I seek answers from everywhere for the number of questions….Many times the questions remained unanswered. This happened this morning too.

And I walked off with unanswered questions again……

P.S Photos donka.

 Mashutzo writes..

Still moving~

After a decades,
I spotted the face again,
the same face, I saw years and years back,
among the crowd with the familiar Smile to hit those blurred  days.
It’s all about once ‘upon a time’ now,
everything that was beautiful, is nowhere to be seen,
everything that had happened is nowhere to be witness,
everything has changed,
everything is still going fine….
it’s just that the ways have taken a different turn…then there changed ‘WE’ along with time….



Mashutzo Writes.

Conductor Dai,

I was in hurry to get in and grab a seat in the Blue Local-Bus from ‘Nepal Yatayat’ to Boudha with my sister. I didn’t see anything than the free seats on the 3^rd row of the left side. I took out my ‘made-in-china’ fancy hand-fan and gave myself some relief from the exhausting sunny day. I pushed the window-glass fully backward and was ready to enjoy some breezy air.

My sister was trying to take a nap as she leaned against my shoulder and the song of Bob Dylan ‘blowing in the wind’ was just so right for the weary day. I was only watching the people by the road, the small stalls where I witnessed that, selling a piece of cigarette seemed more important than feeding her infant child, a middle aged woman roasting the corns in the such killing temperature was shouting at her husband in front of people and if anyone expects a reason I don’t really have it, then there I saw a woman who was running along with the speed of the bus just to sell a bottle of mineral water. The sweats dropping from her forehead and her hairs all messed up with the dust covered-look showed she is having hard time indeed. It was like overall watching where I stand at that time and the only difference was the twenty five Nepali rupees that made me take that so-called a bit comfort and shaky seat of that Blue Local Bus where I was witnessing the activities going roughly. I was just looking around. The bus was moving as the conductor was shouting to pile more and more passengers to have healthy Dal-bhat for the day. Well he surely deserves a food meal after all……as if like someone cares, (jokes a part).

Someone banged on the right near to my seat from the outside and the bus stopped. I took my head out of window to check who it was, my eyes caught by the middle aged man whose nose was covered with a mask leaving his mouth freely as he was shouting continuously to bring more passengers in and was telling the passengers inside to make space for other pending passengers. With a simple framed spectacle, a faded navy cap he looked as if he belongs to a well settled family but his dark tanned skin sparkling sweats has something else to say.  He was, the conductor.

Everyone in the bus was quiet. No one complained a bit about the cramped situation. I was ok as I was sitting by the window seat and was wondering why he has to work as a conductor in a Local-Bus? Does he have a family? The money he gets from the conductor job, could it be enough for him and his family? If he has kids, how does he manage to pay for them? How many times a day he eats? And the major question that was hitting me was; why he chose to be a conductor??

Everyone has their own part of stories and problem; maybe he has his own shares of problem in life.

I hurriedly took out the mobile from my brown leather bag as the conductor was intensely shouting outside to bring more passengers. He saw me with the mobile and I acted as if I got a call, then taking the chance of his occupied mind, I quietly took a photo of him shouting at the people. I am glad he didn’t hear the sound of camera, thanks to the ‘thotorey’ local bus of Kathmandu city….

We got off at the chabahil and my sister handed him 50 rupees note and said ‘ek jana ko student id cha’ “tyau” “but to our surprise he didn’t give us off on the student id and the bus left with its speed.

the only photo i could possibly get  at that moment from my phone...., glad he didn't hear the click sound :D 

Mashutzo writes.

Those Wind-bells...

We met under the shadows of the trees and we walked quietly listening to footsteps avoiding the bustling world.
Shyness in the conversation made us feel flimsy as heat of the sun bothered along the way.
The sound of the wind-bells somehow lured the dull moment.
The few minutes of the winds lingered the feelings of lonesome, and I don’t know why.

Mashutzo Writes

sister's post~

its always an amazing feeling to see how the little ones who watches and imitates everything what i do,stands to my height in no time, understands every bit of hard-time and the value of happiness....
we are connected as a women, and sisterhood is what makes it perfect~. i lately knew my little sister turned to a complete lady at the very beginning of the 20's, 
p.s- stop using my lipstick lol :P 

Mashutzo Writes

Heavenly time~

one who experienced only the light can never say what Darkness is like,
I experienced the both and i can say darkness is too beautiful in its own way,  and i am pushed  to have this moment with darkness.

Ceiling,
white Ceiling,
Clear Ceiling,
No! it’s the Clear and Clean Ceiling,
that has hypnotized me under its shelter.
There’s nothing up there,
There’s nothing I would love to look intently for long,
There’s nothing I could control either,
Because there is this state of mind where I couldn’t  just control over.
Craziness,
insanity,
waste of Time or whatever you call it,
I call it my moment of time to Recall those gone Times,
which wouldn’t dare to turn around for good or bad~
Happy being wrapped among the four dead walls,
i hear the thunders piercing through ceilings,
and i hear the rain-drops scratching through the dark clouds,
and there i lie silently with all my consciousness,
recalling everything, i have missed so far, everything i ought to  over-looked.

~Mashutzo Writes~

drifting feelings~

With the each new day welcoming the bright new sunrays,
I expect the day to bring something new,
and there I go hoping.
But every time I am positive about my wills,
the same monotonous obstacles hold me back in the tight knot,

This is how I now love to walk with the tedious obstacles.
The more I push them, the more they chase me,
leaving  me lonesome in the state of mystification,
But so certain of the fact,
I don’t aim to have them till the last breath.

Mashutzo Writes~

thought of the day~

I feel good,
I feel like smiling all day,
I feel like making a shout out loud,
I feel Delighted just because I did it.

Sometimes giving a share of happiness in someone’s Life feels like the perfect victory of satisfaction.
It doesn’t really take complicated effort nor it consumes time and energy, all it takes is a will from the heart and there you see getting to what you have been thinking to ‘make it’.

It’s so possible if you have a will to do it from your heart, you can make anything possible and you can make people happy with your single thought for something Good.

Yesh Yesh,
So far I am loving the way it is taking beautiful moments down the lane,
And I am happy to be part of the happiness and smiling hearts around me,
down on the corner, I do sometimes think if you people and smile,
Love for you Both and take good care of everything that bounds you together.
Keeps the love growing with the each new expression of Feelings and love……
Take care~
Mashutzo Writes~

Misted Reflections~

Wish,
Dream,
Choice,
Vision,

They seem to be fading away when I am standing up-close with another angle of Life.
Where am I?
Lost?
Probably not.
I am lost in the phrase of Life where we have to compromise our wills with something that comes our way,
and I asked to myself ‘is this what everyone says a test of life?’

“Don’t compromise yourself, you are all you have got”
My stubborn words are still keeping the pace with me.
Compromising is the only option I have now or I still have to stand with my persistency.
Holy shit,
There stands this Heart, always whispering every time I am about to take sound sleep,
‘Wait, Don’t compromise, Don’t’
‘The only thing you have with you is “You”.
‘Better things are about to roll on your way’.
‘Stay Calm and have the patience’

i wouldn't exchange the laughter of my heart for the beauty of eyes, nor i can give the dreamlike laughter~

Mashutzo Writes~

Happy birthday~

Someone stepped into our life on the 13th of March 2012.
A Rock-Star is here in the family.
VoooooHoooo.
Thank you dear Pooh and i am really Happy for you.
Wish you a happiest Life.
Can't wait to have some shares of Haluwa now.
Me and my sister were extremely excited to get his 1st glimpse..
and We did,
yay.

Happy a month Birthday~