fluctuating feelings....

photo from a long time ago me watching the whole kathmandu city....night view was awesome then...

I loved him so dearly believing he is the man of my life…
loving secretly inside and hiding the feelings within was tough..
So tough that it annoyed me often…
Playing hide and seek with the feelings were never easy …
but it saddens me to death when I feel you are just a boy and not the man I want to cherish for long… 

Mashutzo Writes.

Laugh today, if you wish to live tomorrow.....

Laugh today, if you wish to live tomorrow.

It’s your life, live it the way you want to, laugh out loud in the middle of the way.
Who cares?
Just do it and do it very often please.
You want to wear shorts, go for it, it’s your body and only you know how to comfort it in a best way.
Damn, seriously’ you don’t have to fly to abroad just to wear shorts.
You want to get drunk, go for it, but make sure you are surrounded by your people.
Just live your life in your own principles.
Remember, you are important and you are worthy of great things.
Live your life.

Forgetting everything aside I was happy being in a place where I used to feel uneasy.
Uneasy of being not able to talk and laugh openly, I was trying to keep the person I am secretly safe, but as the time rolled by, the same discomfort zone turned into cool, loud and fun place, well I would rather say a place of collective souls of real fun.

Mashutzo writes.

One matters...

sometimes there exist the only one thing in everyone's Life,
like the only one reason to change the person you are,
the only one misunderstanding to ruin everything,
the only one confession to build up the broken pieces of trust,
the only one love Love to stay Alive,
the only one touch to heal the deepest wound,
the only one step to a new life,
the only one hope to a Dream,
the only one Smile to strong bond.....


Mashutzo Writes.

Deja Vu days...

'Sometimes there is nothing you want to write, you feel the feeling of being timid and get drowned in the ocean of your thoughts....'

Mashutzo Writes.

Lost soul in the crowded and noisy city..........

Lay back evening at the corner of crowded and noisy city I go thinking if I am the only one feeling delicate.

Half of the city covered in the blanket of darkness, I go wondering if I am the only lost-soul.

Lightening the only cigarette from the box, i whispered ‘Life is nothing but a fucked up smokes and Ashes’.

Mashutzo Writes.

Its No important to see what others see....

I sometimes go wondering if people are genuinely worried about me or they just want to know what’s going in my life showing all those concerns over the days. I seriously go wondering, and this tends to leave me in amazed state where I go and say to myself “wah these people know me better than actually I do to myself”.

Time and again I go meeting with some advises and some suggestions. I actually go encountering myself as a weak and disable person through their words. I feel a bit agitated understanding the level of the words they shower me. Then I go silent, trying to understand the situation where actually I don’t meet the person they are trying to portray with their words. The “someone” they portray with their dear words is completely new to me. ‘Someone’ who isn't me at all.

Everyone has a different life. And I tend to have a different life too, that’s what I am seeing in my surroundings. Time will certainly show up. ‘Good or Bad’.  I am in NO hurry either. So dear people ‘chill, watching a drama and giving shitty reviews and comments are always easy job to do, but when you are put in a situation to act to the same drama I am sure you will tremble and fall. So, just chill and live the beautiful life you have beautifully.  If you have a dull life, no worries paint them with your own choice of colors and love it in your own way. After all It’s no important to see what others see.

Mashutzo Writes.

Laid back Sunday with less words...

The only Reason, loving this place is that its 100% vegetarian. Yaaaahoooooo!

i have always believed  that a pair of good shoes will take you to good places and i ended here again...

if you believe, you can see yourself everywhere...all you need is a vision..

And good watch never fails to please me...and it adds a personality in the person. (Time-Toll)

every time i am stressed out for many minor reason, i just think of the only reason how i feel blessed being here. (Boudha)

if you have a vision of Peace, you will just feel it everywhere.

The most difficult job i have ever experienced, living the person you are openly everywhere.

Mashutzo Writes.

Jai-Shamboooo..."Shiva-Ratri"

This feels like a piece of shit when you can’t even get a friend to come with you to attend the great Shiva-Ratri which falls once a year in Pashutpatinath Temple.
I was literally searching for a friend who wants to get this early morning blessing from the Lord Shiva.  Its 100 feelings you can actually only feel.

And I was like asking everyone around me including my own sister.
It came as a disappointed not to have anyone around me, but then my sister asked  me what time do you want to go??
When I told her that I want to go around 2-3 early in the morning, she completely freaked out and said No that is so not safe for only girls and that was true in a certain way. ‘

‘But then  I have been to pashupati at such time on Shiva-Ratri and its so much of good feeling, fun to see the devotees from all over the corner coming only for this day’ I replied.

I saw the cold response.

I didn’t even bothered to ask again, but I was looking for someone to come with me, and I even asked to my only friend in here and she directly said ‘No’. Wow that was a quick and a confident response so far. Disappointed me, I went to ask other few people but then I saw no interest in anyone, what the fish, this is Shiva-ratri and it falls only once a year and wonder why isn’t anyone ready for this?

I have seen girls getting seriously ready for New Year eve party like from a week before???? Why not Shiva-Ratri?

It was Sunday 10th march 2013, a National holiday for Shiva-ratri and I was all home displeased of the fact that actually the day was about to end and it was already 5 P.M.

And I felt like the day was about the end and so the Shiva-Ratri, I should be staying like this, I made my sister and g Gyaltsen to come with me to the Pashupati. And to my surprise they agreed.

We took a cab from Boudha  to chabahil, the roads were all blocked. We walked from chabahil and we were a bit worried if it will rain and it did certainly. Thing always go wrong in a wrong time, we had to take shelter in a hotel for rain to stop. It did after few minutes. Thank-God.

We headed from there and we were there at last YaY, this was such a wonderful and amazing feeling for me to see the Lights and the happening numbers of saints and devotees in such an unbelievable way. I loved that Feeling of getting something that you can’t explain.

I made my sister and gyaltsen  line up in a long long queue to get inside the Temple and they were seriously not ready since the lines were shockingly long.  But somehow we were clever enough to slipped through the lines, we did waited for minutes in the another short queue finally  and Finally, I was there in Temple. Wow, that was a Wow feeling.

We saw the saints from the corner of India who were there in the Temple showing their tricks totally NAKED. And I was explaining my sister and Gyaltsen about the naked saints.

How I wanted to take pictures inside of the naked saints but was not possible because of the very tight securities.

It was such an Amazing feeling when I got out of the temple and gave my last look at temple from the entrance.

It was just serene feeling. Peaceful feeling that made my evening.
All thanks to Dolkar and Gyaltsen for bearing the rain, long way walk, and the long queue in bare foot.

Productive evening.

Jai-Shambo…..

Standing there for a photo made me feel the feeling of missing my one crazy friend on this particular day who is over the oceans and far across the distance who couldn't make it this year.....Jai-Shambooo Nakali "Tsering"

Mashutzo Writes.

Once upon A Daughter always Remains A Daughter...

On the way to Dharan, the only baby who was travelling with us. Auguest 19/12011. Time 5:41 A.M.

There is this particular thing called motherhood that was in my mind for some time now.  I have my friends who enjoy it with the beauty in it and with the softness of love that they give to their babies. It looks beautiful in every way. I am sure there is an amazing different feeling in that bond.

I use social network. I am connected with my friends from different countries through social networks. I often sign in to see the newsfeed and guess what I see, whole lots of pictures of the new born baby, right from the day they are born, to the rice feeding days to the first day of the new clothes, first day in the crib, then comes the photograph of baby in bathtub. I can see the whole lots of love and excitements of being motherhood in them. This is good for the baby for sure because in a way, lots of picture-memories will be there to remember the moment again.

I think it is indeed a good feeling watching your new angels grow in front of your eyes with each passing days. Touching the softness of the tiny feet, playing with their very tiny finger tips when you feed, gazing in the small eyes and seeing a big dream of holding their hands and walking, giving a deep glance at the baby and trying to figure it out if there is a bit of your shape in him/her. All these are love. A selfless love from a woman to her child. That woman is certainly You. A great loving mother. And there is another woman who is a step greater than you and she is your mother.

Are we forgetting something in here?

I hope we are not. We are wise enough to differentiate between black and white, right and wrong, then how possibly can we forget the genuine love that we always have. A mother’s love. 

Parents think no harm for their child. They try to give the best they have for them but the problem is their hard work is sometimes not noticed. And I wonder why???

With due respect to all the newly mothers who always stand in the place to please our heart and eyes, it’s high time to perceive the love someone has for you every since you made the first cry stepping out of her womb. She had loved you even before you were brought on this earth. You were a dream, a dream that she dreamt for the whole nine months. This is what we call a Mother.

When you hold your adorable baby in your hand, just feel that she had felt the same feeling for you once. When you see a dream in your little-heart’s eyes, just give a thought that she had seen the same dream once. When you feel the world’s happiness in touching your child‘s hands and feet, learn by heart that she had experienced the same touch of happiness.

I don’t know why am I writing about all these, may be its because I am not a mother yet, and I have not have this feeling of having babies and giving 100% of entire care at one place. But then I am glad, I knew something in advance, something that is worth to keep in heart and bring balance in sharing love.

So whenever you hold your newborn give a glance at your mother with a smile and say ‘Thank-You’ at least. The way of sharing love will be full of convenience with understandings of motherhood then. Have a happy and great motherhood. And cherish them with every moment and do not forget to keep videos and photographs of your angels……   

Mashutzo Writes....

talking to the Walls again

I am talking to the walls again…
I am sharing words with them…
but I hear no words in return…..
But the sign of comfort is there…since the words I have whispered are all going to be within us only..

Mashutzo Writes.

Every now and then...

Basking in sun...There i go feeling the same feelings whenever i come to this place...and the feeling is not mutual...Its the wrapped and concealed feelings that comes and sometimes fades away leaving a Sad-Face by the corner in a mysterious way and never forgets to return back again.



Mashutzo Writes.

Distance~

Thank-You bipen for the candid photograph...

Sometimes distance just makes us know who we are,
sometimes distance just teaches us who we should be,
sometimes distance just gives us wise results,
sometimes distance snatches everything from Us.

Sometimes we hate the distance,
sometimes we cherish the distance,
sometimes we create the distance for good,
and sometimes we find Lost in that distance.

The feeling of coldness comes along the distance,
There we go charging more distance,
Then we find ourselves standing far across the broken bridge,
where we can’t walk again~

Mashutzo Writes!

Money can't buy everything~

money can buy you happiness but wonder if they can succeed in buying Love??

The spacious place and the 'tiling tiling' sound making coins, i resemble the plate as the life an the coins as the number of happiness we have~

wrinkles can be beautiful sometimes and i can assure you~

We are surviving in this world of self-interest, where we sometimes find ourselves begging for a pinch of happiness.
What is this now???
Oh Lord, come down and show some love to the people who thinks that money is everything.
Well, I am not always happy and smiling.
I do get upset and only I know how I lure for happiness.

“Happiness to me is the ‘unexpected moments’ where you have all your mouth wide opened with surprised eyes and lean to give this tight hug but couldn’t react to the moment”.

Happiness to me is the moment when you can make someone happy by handing him over a crisp note of ‘Hundred Rupees’ in his spacious plate and witness  A shocked Happy Face and says ‘Bhagyamani hos, khushi hunu’ ( the time when they bless you with luck and happiness back)

That is Happiness to me.
I walked to home with a Happy-Heart that Day.


Mashutzo Writes~

Those Wind-bells...

We met under the shadows of the trees and we walked quietly listening to footsteps avoiding the bustling world.
Shyness in the conversation made us feel flimsy as heat of the sun bothered along the way.
The sound of the wind-bells somehow lured the dull moment.
The few minutes of the winds lingered the feelings of lonesome, and I don’t know why.

Mashutzo Writes

Heavenly time~

one who experienced only the light can never say what Darkness is like,
I experienced the both and i can say darkness is too beautiful in its own way,  and i am pushed  to have this moment with darkness.

Ceiling,
white Ceiling,
Clear Ceiling,
No! it’s the Clear and Clean Ceiling,
that has hypnotized me under its shelter.
There’s nothing up there,
There’s nothing I would love to look intently for long,
There’s nothing I could control either,
Because there is this state of mind where I couldn’t  just control over.
Craziness,
insanity,
waste of Time or whatever you call it,
I call it my moment of time to Recall those gone Times,
which wouldn’t dare to turn around for good or bad~
Happy being wrapped among the four dead walls,
i hear the thunders piercing through ceilings,
and i hear the rain-drops scratching through the dark clouds,
and there i lie silently with all my consciousness,
recalling everything, i have missed so far, everything i ought to  over-looked.

~Mashutzo Writes~

Misted Reflections~

Wish,
Dream,
Choice,
Vision,

They seem to be fading away when I am standing up-close with another angle of Life.
Where am I?
Lost?
Probably not.
I am lost in the phrase of Life where we have to compromise our wills with something that comes our way,
and I asked to myself ‘is this what everyone says a test of life?’

“Don’t compromise yourself, you are all you have got”
My stubborn words are still keeping the pace with me.
Compromising is the only option I have now or I still have to stand with my persistency.
Holy shit,
There stands this Heart, always whispering every time I am about to take sound sleep,
‘Wait, Don’t compromise, Don’t’
‘The only thing you have with you is “You”.
‘Better things are about to roll on your way’.
‘Stay Calm and have the patience’

i wouldn't exchange the laughter of my heart for the beauty of eyes, nor i can give the dreamlike laughter~

Mashutzo Writes~

~Life from A Different Angle~

Recently i did a Guestblogging in one of my Favorite blog.
The blogger is from India and his Blog is one of his personal blog and i do take out time to check his every post, Now that goes for a Drink, what say Akum???
I just thought to share the same post here in my Blog too...
Have Fun~

I was very much tired with the same office to home and home to office schedule. The monotonous days made me lazy enough not to step out with friends as I was seeing the same Kathmandu everyday so I thought to take a short trip to Dharan, very famous place of its own for its people and its beautiful tone of language.

There are many things I will remember about Dharan, the place, people, the food for obvious reason and it’s very different ambience for sure. The major reason will be the meeting with group of men that happened out of blue in the middle of the cramped place.

All of sudden, I saw few men of same age above 40 in the number of 5-6 working very hard together. I made myself inside the gate of the workshop when a young boy stood by me and asked ‘where I was heading’ looking at the camera in my hand.

“Well I just wanted to click some photographs if it is fine with everyone here”.

Are you a reporter? An average age man asked me from a window nearby.

Oh, no no no I am not a reporter, I was just walking by the way so I thought to get some photographs that’s it.

‘Alright get it done quickly, so that my workers can go back to work’ replied the man from the window.

I saw a serious man who was sweating so badly as if he was just out of shower. There was another man helping him out and his vest was completely wet, and it was all sweat. I made myself near the serious face and asked if I can click some photographs of him and his fellow workers.

He said he would mind if I post the photographs in a paper.

Giving my clarification in a jiffy I said; the photographs will remain safe with me, no newspapers and no magazine thing here. I am a normal person who only loves to capture some beautiful moments of life, very simple isn’t it?

This very day, I realized the taste of hard work. I realized the value of sweats. I realized how the human pushes oneself in a hardship just to have the three squares a day. 

man with the serious Face ~

back to work,,,

Their morning starts from the same location and same work. Heard about Time machine, but machine Men?????

The man who spoke that very moment and share his words~

He was the oldest if i remember ~

His was were all wet, but still manages to avoid it..

The last photograph of the day with the beautiful people~

~Smile to Life~