Saturday, March 12, 2011

conversation with a mother and wife...(9/1/2010) 10:36 pm.

I was back to my work from orthopedic hospital after spending few hours with the handicapped children. I was showing the pictures to my fellows when I saw Mrs. Maskey sitting on a chair lost in her own world of thinking I bet.  She is a mother of two children and a very good house wife of todays. She was looking well-groomed with the brown jacket and the boot to complement the looks. Her curly hair was freed. Her big eyes were like wide Silent Ocean.
I actually don’t remember how all this started, all I could remember was the moment when I saw her loitering like there wasn’t anything  to stop her which brought me this anxiety, what she might be thinking?. What was going in her mind that made her think in such immense way? Questions and questions started to swim in my minuscule mind. I went near to her, approached her with my words as we normally do speak out over a topic time and again and discuss.
I asked her; we sometimes bewildered about the fact that life is sometimes funny, isn’t it? It isn’t the way it has to be. How people see it from the outer appearance is way too far different from the fact which is hiding.
Her eyes wider opened, she gave me an astonished appearance and uttered her words; Lhamo! Time brings changes and you have to walk according to changes. People are very much interested to interfere about someone else life and that’s pathetic. She stopped her words there with a long breath as if she has been waiting for a fresh air to blow her disturbed mind.
We were lost in our conversation which started with an ease. We were talking about everything that was bothering within our mind. I felt like we were both looking for this moment of sharing where we were talking about everything like family, career, passion, aim, society etc. Our conversation started from our daily life’s activities to our passion to dreams.
She can make you understand her views with the simplicity of her words of expressions. The plus point is her expressions of face which goes well with everything she wants to make other understand. This will lead to an endless conversation. There was a kind of anxiety to talk to her and listen to her because the more I was talking to her the more ideas and opinions I was storing within me and to some instant I was agreeing with her views.
I took that chance to ask her if she was happy and have there been any changes in her life from a single independent girl to a married woman?
 She looked at me but I was damn sure she wasn’t puzzled what to answer right the moment; gave me this smile that left a question within a question in me and with a free feeling of mind I was asking the questions to the right person. She smiled again and looked here and there. She turned to me tightening her brown jacket from the waist and replied; Life brings vast changes after the marriage. Someone who has been your dear to life like parents, siblings, and yes the career will become secondary when we tied our knot with our husband. You would try to make your husband happy in every possible way. You will start to wear dresses that your husband think suits you rather than your taste. You will get yourself involved in the activities which your husband cherishes rather than you desires. You will try everything single way to impress your husband. My ears were completely opened to her. And I loved watching her expressions. When I was listening to her, I was thinking aside, the presence of a husband can be that strong in a woman’s life?
I was mesmerized when she shared me some of her life’s experience after the marriage. She shared some of personal practices which she still remembers and upsets her. She told me that their first son used to spend so much of time with her father that, whenever anyone asked him about the name of his parents, he would come up with her name and his grandfather’s name which shattered her which actually recalled her that her husband wasn’t giving the possibility of time to family. I wonder how complex it had been to her to face this common truth.
She added making it as a part of joke; see Lhamo it’s actually hard to be a wife of a person who is so devoted and craze for work. I asked; is it?
She giggled.
I accept the fact that man has to be the person who leads the family and gives an identity to family. It must have been very important for Mr. Maskey to earn success for his own reasons. But so far listening to Mrs. Maskey I believe, chasing those unbreakable dreams of success for her husband, he lost some of the very important moments of his life. The moment when a father notices his first child utters the first word ‘baba’, the first walk and the very first naughty act which makes very father go laugh whole day remembering the act which are like priceless to every Father.
When I am writing this, I can feel the emptiness as being a human. I wonder how Mrs. Maskey had been handling with all these things. May be this is why people says; Women are brave.
I think within that strong mother’s heart, there are many of her own dreams, her wishes, her passions, her likes which she has been hiding till the date.

2 comments:

  1. its good to have changes but its not good to have changes for better of others.....its useless......this is not ur inner changes but outlook changes.....with the world getting developed, the importance of women is increasing...its good to listen and do as ur husband says but not at every extent that whatever he says then u have to do.........now thats totally foolish....we know that the life of woman before marriage and after marriage is different but stil woman should have every right to do anything even after her marriage....

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  2. sometimes words are beautiful in words only. i know what you trying to say..and to far extend i agree and i believe the same...but the main thing is you are not a woman...woman has her own say to approach to happiness which can be stupid sometimes in the eyes of second person... marey..

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