Never ending Nightingale Nights..

Couple of stress weeks passed since I encountered what I have been avoiding to face.  It’s hard time to take in the air when the moment you caught a lie from the person you give over yourself, the moment when you feel deceived, the moment when you feel naïve not to notice the alarming threats of multiple cheats and the moment when you feel you are worthless.

There is nothing I can do nor can I bring changes in everything that is going around or that has been going around. I am closely introduced with this practical fact know that Regretting for something you have never done is the foolish way to waste time and energy but sometimes being wise seems a problem at certain level of time.

Phur phur phuurrrrr shu shu shu…let all this thoughts go away…

Its 10:08 pm, Date 24/7/2012
my long hair all set freely over my shoulders, neatly dried after the wash.
I rest my back on the wall with the support of the pillow to comfort me when I am lonesome.
Wiped the kaajol and mascara with the wet-tissue papers and placed it on the nearby table. The eye-glass resting on my nose to comfort my eyes, I took the book and turned to the book to page 197. I am reading and I hope I can occupy my uneasy mind for a while now.

i don't want to make my life like a book.

Mashutzo Writes.

Strange everywhere~

Everything seems strange.
why????
May be because I am strange…
May be the people around me are strange…
May be I am close by a strange surrounding….
May be Strange thoughts are haunting me…
May be strange is there because everything was totally strange from the very beginning….

Strange people,
Strange behaviors,
Strange characters,
Strange thinking,
Strange views,
Strange everything,

Everything is Strange. Totally strange; it seems peculiar to me all of sudden now. Yes, everything is weird around me, the people and everything related to the people. I hate the fact that everything around me is going thoroughly weird not wonderful.

Mashutzo writes.

Deja'Vu morning....

Boudhanath Stupa;

place to purify  body, speech and mind

Brushed my teeth, washed my face, and with a lazy expression on my face, I walked from home.

It was 6:30 in the morning 10^th of july 2012…Location Boudha.

I walked through the cozy and narrow way inside the Boudha-Stupa. With the mystified mind carrying heavily with me, I was surely thinking something which I realized when I reached the place where I normally get seated, had no idea how I reached there at once.

I watched around, it was the same place and same faces but the place looked bit crowded.

I came after a while for the prostrations as I was occupied with my schedules, which turned out to be confused thing for me.

I opened my bag. I placed the shawl on the wooden board where prostrations are practice, made my things available at its respective places and got comfortably seated. I could see the eyes of the Boudha-Stupa and felt the feeling that they can ease everything. But the reality hits, I was right there seated with puzzled mind.

How long the eyes of Boudha-Stupa can ease me with my mystified mind??? Still unknown….

I didn’t know, if I should feel fortunate to see the new sun-rise of the new day to utilize it in a better way or should I be feeling unpleasant about the fact that nothing works by keeping the positive mind only. The only thing I knew that very moment was, I was inhaling air, I was experiencing the fresh morning clear blue sky, and I was hearing the pigeons while picking the grains from the earth. Lucky Pigeons…

My mind was off for a while.

The smell of sweats of the guy next to me woke me. I acted as if nothing was bothering. I turned to my left and saw a young Nepali guy with curly hair and a back-bag beside him; his eyes shut, I am sure he was more intended on inhaling and exhaling….

Then I turned to my right and saw the same regular Uncle who comes every morning and evening for the prostrations. He gestured to ask me; when did I arrive?

I just nodded my head…was that an answer for his question?

Everyone around me were busy chanting mantras, practicing meditations and prostrations and I was seeking something…it was certainly PEACE of mind….

Sometimes and several times this happens to me when I seek answers from everywhere for the number of questions….Many times the questions remained unanswered. This happened this morning too.

And I walked off with unanswered questions again……

P.S Photos donka.

 Mashutzo writes..