perhaps you can relate then...

Only if I had a good voice,
I would sing all my feelings out,
expressions of emotions,
warmth of love,
heart wrenching feelings,
would drop every single words in a song,
and touch your cold hearted soul,
perhaps you can understand then.
But it’s comical how I can’t sing,
and how you can’t read my feelings,
this is how the distance simply appears,
perhaps you can understand the difference then.
Its not your fault,
nor its mine,
it’s the fault of our stubborn choices,
and so our stubborn attitude,
which dragged us in a space,
where I can’t make you hear my songs,
and perhaps you can’t read my feelings…


Mashutzo Writes.

trapped eyes in the darkness....

There it was,
an empty room,
an empty space,
spacious.
Moved here and there,
found nothing,
only smokes and darkness,
where I could hardly see anything.
It was shadowy that ended up seeing only eyes,
they sparkled,
they said stories,
they listened,
they were the Eyes of dreams,
searching the meaning of Life,
trying to console self,
everything will be alright,
But it was nothing but a lie,
spreading in the space of the empty room.
The eyes dropped tears of disappointment.
And settled there for another hope,
another hope to get the answers,
answers of the unknown pain,
which was piercing deep within the heart,
scratching its all skin out.

Mashutzo writes.

everything changed, unknown me.....

i am glad i made this Trip, will remember it for a long long time. Totally Productive Thought.

Breathing the good day’s air is an incredible feeling,
I bow my head and thanked God for all the good and bad,
its seems difficult to believe how things changed,
without even making me realize how it all changed.

Mashutzo Writes.

fluctuating feelings....

photo from a long time ago me watching the whole kathmandu city....night view was awesome then...

I loved him so dearly believing he is the man of my life…
loving secretly inside and hiding the feelings within was tough..
So tough that it annoyed me often…
Playing hide and seek with the feelings were never easy …
but it saddens me to death when I feel you are just a boy and not the man I want to cherish for long… 

Mashutzo Writes.

Laugh today, if you wish to live tomorrow.....

Laugh today, if you wish to live tomorrow.

It’s your life, live it the way you want to, laugh out loud in the middle of the way.
Who cares?
Just do it and do it very often please.
You want to wear shorts, go for it, it’s your body and only you know how to comfort it in a best way.
Damn, seriously’ you don’t have to fly to abroad just to wear shorts.
You want to get drunk, go for it, but make sure you are surrounded by your people.
Just live your life in your own principles.
Remember, you are important and you are worthy of great things.
Live your life.

Forgetting everything aside I was happy being in a place where I used to feel uneasy.
Uneasy of being not able to talk and laugh openly, I was trying to keep the person I am secretly safe, but as the time rolled by, the same discomfort zone turned into cool, loud and fun place, well I would rather say a place of collective souls of real fun.

Mashutzo writes.

whispered words...

'Life, never was easy, grow up and accept it'

i feel like God whispered these few words to me the moment i was born.
should i feel good about the whisper, believing in God?
or shall i not recall the whispers at all?
or what if i say, i am rather a bit upset about the whisper.
or what if i never wanted to hear such whisper at that tender breathe?


Mashutzo Writes.

One matters...

sometimes there exist the only one thing in everyone's Life,
like the only one reason to change the person you are,
the only one misunderstanding to ruin everything,
the only one confession to build up the broken pieces of trust,
the only one love Love to stay Alive,
the only one touch to heal the deepest wound,
the only one step to a new life,
the only one hope to a Dream,
the only one Smile to strong bond.....


Mashutzo Writes.

Deja Vu days...

'Sometimes there is nothing you want to write, you feel the feeling of being timid and get drowned in the ocean of your thoughts....'

Mashutzo Writes.

Hiding Yourself in You~

You pretend the person who you are not
in a Far distance
around a tranquil Place
You meet yourself when you are alone
You talk
look for answers
seek solutions
filter the right and wrong
clear the doubts
think about the fantasies
deal with everything in reality then
You hide The Real you from one and all
You are afraid of the fearsome society
It’s worth
Hiding yourself within only you
Protected and satisfied
Not a soul will welcome and value the person you are inside
Only you and you will be a perfect Friend of your own soul
PEACE~

Mashutzo Writes.

Limited Lights Cafe=>>>>Lonesome time and awesome time.............

This window is sooo relaxing place to enjoy a cup of coffee and do a bit of jotting down words. Lonesome time and awesome time.

Limited light cafe, was trying to capture a glimpse of the Fridge that was beside the counter table, but was actually a very normal place but don't know i found it a bit complex to understand the interiors.

I stopped my walks for a second and sat by the windowpane in a Café near freakstreet.


Thought a cup of coffee would ease this tired mind and will gain space and would again engaged in puzzled thoughts.

Never the late, a group of people sat next to my table and were making the hell lot of noises which agitated me more than I was. The arrival of coffee brought some strength to brighten my face but the piece of the cheesecake that I ordered made me raised the wrinkles in my forehead. The taste was not appealing.

Added three teaspoon of sugar to get the sweetest tea ever, and I seriously needed it. Sipping the coffee and forcing myself to enjoy the weird taste of the cheesecake I was actually having a share of my good time. I lately realized, I actually loved the place and the owner of the café who looked more like a Muslim with grey-hair and a glass resting on the tip of his nose. I didn't dare to ask his nationality. He kept staring at me, reason still unknown. May be the weird man found me weird. May be.

The room was a bit dark. Very limited light café, I would put it this way.

People kept coming, shaking hands and asking the common thing “how was office?” 
No way, not here at least I said to myself.

Ignoring everything about the ‘limited light café’ I was in my world. Many different thoughts were dancing in my brain. Felt a bit complex to lift the weight of the thoughts that were bouncing rapidly in my mind.

The hot Coffee turned cold and the cheesecake still unfinished,
I eased my mind I felt, Life is very much limited like the lights in this café.

Like the dark clouds surround the beautiful sky in the rainy reason and it cries whole day.

Life gets in a state where everything seems limited and unsatisfied.

And I call this living a life.

And I call this unpredictable life.

I stood up finishing the coffee only and asked for the bill to the grey-haired man at the counter.

Pressing the buttons on the calculator he was checking the bill,

“One coffee and one cheesecake, its 120 rupees please” he said raising his eyebrows.

I handed him exactly the 120 rupees and left the ‘limited light café’.

When I was out I checked the signboard if they have any particular name for this “limitedlightcafe”.

Found ‘Snowman café’ written on the top of the door.

Well limited light café would have been better I guess, kidding.

Mashutzo Writes.

darkness....

Walked few steps,
reached nowhere,
touched something,
Felt nothing but only darkness.

Mashutzo Writes.

Lost soul in the crowded and noisy city..........

Lay back evening at the corner of crowded and noisy city I go thinking if I am the only one feeling delicate.

Half of the city covered in the blanket of darkness, I go wondering if I am the only lost-soul.

Lightening the only cigarette from the box, i whispered ‘Life is nothing but a fucked up smokes and Ashes’.

Mashutzo Writes.

Its No important to see what others see....

I sometimes go wondering if people are genuinely worried about me or they just want to know what’s going in my life showing all those concerns over the days. I seriously go wondering, and this tends to leave me in amazed state where I go and say to myself “wah these people know me better than actually I do to myself”.

Time and again I go meeting with some advises and some suggestions. I actually go encountering myself as a weak and disable person through their words. I feel a bit agitated understanding the level of the words they shower me. Then I go silent, trying to understand the situation where actually I don’t meet the person they are trying to portray with their words. The “someone” they portray with their dear words is completely new to me. ‘Someone’ who isn't me at all.

Everyone has a different life. And I tend to have a different life too, that’s what I am seeing in my surroundings. Time will certainly show up. ‘Good or Bad’.  I am in NO hurry either. So dear people ‘chill, watching a drama and giving shitty reviews and comments are always easy job to do, but when you are put in a situation to act to the same drama I am sure you will tremble and fall. So, just chill and live the beautiful life you have beautifully.  If you have a dull life, no worries paint them with your own choice of colors and love it in your own way. After all It’s no important to see what others see.

Mashutzo Writes.

Laid back Sunday with less words...

The only Reason, loving this place is that its 100% vegetarian. Yaaaahoooooo!

i have always believed  that a pair of good shoes will take you to good places and i ended here again...

if you believe, you can see yourself everywhere...all you need is a vision..

And good watch never fails to please me...and it adds a personality in the person. (Time-Toll)

every time i am stressed out for many minor reason, i just think of the only reason how i feel blessed being here. (Boudha)

if you have a vision of Peace, you will just feel it everywhere.

The most difficult job i have ever experienced, living the person you are openly everywhere.

Mashutzo Writes.

Jai-Shamboooo..."Shiva-Ratri"

This feels like a piece of shit when you can’t even get a friend to come with you to attend the great Shiva-Ratri which falls once a year in Pashutpatinath Temple.
I was literally searching for a friend who wants to get this early morning blessing from the Lord Shiva.  Its 100 feelings you can actually only feel.

And I was like asking everyone around me including my own sister.
It came as a disappointed not to have anyone around me, but then my sister asked  me what time do you want to go??
When I told her that I want to go around 2-3 early in the morning, she completely freaked out and said No that is so not safe for only girls and that was true in a certain way. ‘

‘But then  I have been to pashupati at such time on Shiva-Ratri and its so much of good feeling, fun to see the devotees from all over the corner coming only for this day’ I replied.

I saw the cold response.

I didn’t even bothered to ask again, but I was looking for someone to come with me, and I even asked to my only friend in here and she directly said ‘No’. Wow that was a quick and a confident response so far. Disappointed me, I went to ask other few people but then I saw no interest in anyone, what the fish, this is Shiva-ratri and it falls only once a year and wonder why isn’t anyone ready for this?

I have seen girls getting seriously ready for New Year eve party like from a week before???? Why not Shiva-Ratri?

It was Sunday 10th march 2013, a National holiday for Shiva-ratri and I was all home displeased of the fact that actually the day was about to end and it was already 5 P.M.

And I felt like the day was about the end and so the Shiva-Ratri, I should be staying like this, I made my sister and g Gyaltsen to come with me to the Pashupati. And to my surprise they agreed.

We took a cab from Boudha  to chabahil, the roads were all blocked. We walked from chabahil and we were a bit worried if it will rain and it did certainly. Thing always go wrong in a wrong time, we had to take shelter in a hotel for rain to stop. It did after few minutes. Thank-God.

We headed from there and we were there at last YaY, this was such a wonderful and amazing feeling for me to see the Lights and the happening numbers of saints and devotees in such an unbelievable way. I loved that Feeling of getting something that you can’t explain.

I made my sister and gyaltsen  line up in a long long queue to get inside the Temple and they were seriously not ready since the lines were shockingly long.  But somehow we were clever enough to slipped through the lines, we did waited for minutes in the another short queue finally  and Finally, I was there in Temple. Wow, that was a Wow feeling.

We saw the saints from the corner of India who were there in the Temple showing their tricks totally NAKED. And I was explaining my sister and Gyaltsen about the naked saints.

How I wanted to take pictures inside of the naked saints but was not possible because of the very tight securities.

It was such an Amazing feeling when I got out of the temple and gave my last look at temple from the entrance.

It was just serene feeling. Peaceful feeling that made my evening.
All thanks to Dolkar and Gyaltsen for bearing the rain, long way walk, and the long queue in bare foot.

Productive evening.

Jai-Shambo…..

Standing there for a photo made me feel the feeling of missing my one crazy friend on this particular day who is over the oceans and far across the distance who couldn't make it this year.....Jai-Shambooo Nakali "Tsering"

Mashutzo Writes.

Invisible Reasons

Sometimes we knowingly get in a situation where you are strong enough to get out of it in the eyes of people but only you know how deeply the time has given you harsh seconds to breathe.

It was 12:12 A.M.

I didn’t exactly know what I was doing.
I shall know the reasons behind, that was all in my mind.
Reasons of why??

Mashutzo Writes.

Once upon A Daughter always Remains A Daughter...

On the way to Dharan, the only baby who was travelling with us. Auguest 19/12011. Time 5:41 A.M.

There is this particular thing called motherhood that was in my mind for some time now.  I have my friends who enjoy it with the beauty in it and with the softness of love that they give to their babies. It looks beautiful in every way. I am sure there is an amazing different feeling in that bond.

I use social network. I am connected with my friends from different countries through social networks. I often sign in to see the newsfeed and guess what I see, whole lots of pictures of the new born baby, right from the day they are born, to the rice feeding days to the first day of the new clothes, first day in the crib, then comes the photograph of baby in bathtub. I can see the whole lots of love and excitements of being motherhood in them. This is good for the baby for sure because in a way, lots of picture-memories will be there to remember the moment again.

I think it is indeed a good feeling watching your new angels grow in front of your eyes with each passing days. Touching the softness of the tiny feet, playing with their very tiny finger tips when you feed, gazing in the small eyes and seeing a big dream of holding their hands and walking, giving a deep glance at the baby and trying to figure it out if there is a bit of your shape in him/her. All these are love. A selfless love from a woman to her child. That woman is certainly You. A great loving mother. And there is another woman who is a step greater than you and she is your mother.

Are we forgetting something in here?

I hope we are not. We are wise enough to differentiate between black and white, right and wrong, then how possibly can we forget the genuine love that we always have. A mother’s love. 

Parents think no harm for their child. They try to give the best they have for them but the problem is their hard work is sometimes not noticed. And I wonder why???

With due respect to all the newly mothers who always stand in the place to please our heart and eyes, it’s high time to perceive the love someone has for you every since you made the first cry stepping out of her womb. She had loved you even before you were brought on this earth. You were a dream, a dream that she dreamt for the whole nine months. This is what we call a Mother.

When you hold your adorable baby in your hand, just feel that she had felt the same feeling for you once. When you see a dream in your little-heart’s eyes, just give a thought that she had seen the same dream once. When you feel the world’s happiness in touching your child‘s hands and feet, learn by heart that she had experienced the same touch of happiness.

I don’t know why am I writing about all these, may be its because I am not a mother yet, and I have not have this feeling of having babies and giving 100% of entire care at one place. But then I am glad, I knew something in advance, something that is worth to keep in heart and bring balance in sharing love.

So whenever you hold your newborn give a glance at your mother with a smile and say ‘Thank-You’ at least. The way of sharing love will be full of convenience with understandings of motherhood then. Have a happy and great motherhood. And cherish them with every moment and do not forget to keep videos and photographs of your angels……   

Mashutzo Writes....

An ordinary MONDAY with Fries and Tea...

Yet another ordinary Monday, on the crowded streets of Thamel and I go observing everything around me.

I am walking and viewing everything taking place near to me.

I made myself comfortable on the plastic chair at BK’s chips, sipped the Nepali masala tea and each piece of the fries just made me write something about everything that was taking place around me. I saw four young guys gathered on the next table…young and full bright smiles, I heard the laughter’s and their jokes that grabbed my attention. I Looked at the and remembered my days with my good friends in the same place and almost the same surrounding but the time has changed.  Laughing out loud without caring what the people are going to think and say, this is what I call a bond of friends. Counting each wrinkled note and coming up to the bill to pay together happens always…

I remember my days with friends. somewhere down the line,I badly miss those amazing days when a note of hundred rupees brought million dollars of good times together.

Mashutzo Writes..

talking to the Walls again

I am talking to the walls again…
I am sharing words with them…
but I hear no words in return…..
But the sign of comfort is there…since the words I have whispered are all going to be within us only..

Mashutzo Writes.

Hide and Seek game...

I feel good to see people dropping tears and when they pass out their emotions through tears. I find them timely; at least they can express what they are going through, through all those drops of tears. I mean isn't that great that you can show your emotions, feelings and your concerns through tears.

Every now and then,

The salty drops of water cover the eyes, where it seems hard to hold them tight. I call them tears…

While wondering why all these unstoppable tears love my dry cheeks so dearly,

I run my fingers through the dry skin, with the fear of being observed by the unknown eyes.

I smartly pull the end of my sleeves with my hands and wipe them all…

Have to work it this way,

And I call this yet another day of hide and seek.

Mashutzo Writes.

vanishing words...

When the words printed in these flags can fade away…How possibly can we rely on the words someone has whispered in the chilly cold night?

Mashutzo Writes.

first Thought of first January 2013...

left: Bhuchung dorjee my sister donka, Hottie and Me for the 1st time in my Blog.

Had the craziest Night of my Life,
Shouted like never before,
laughed like i rule this world,
forgetting everything and everyone, i had the freaking Awesome night and i drank like a Whale :P.
'1st thought of 1st January'
As the year passed, i met many new faces, i left many old faces behind, i encountered old faces again after years.
i was able to put together new good relations and i agreed to let go of good people...
Been upset, disappointed, mystified, blissful, thrilled and i can say completely working year....
I am glad with the people who are still with me and people who are not with me at this point of time where i stand. Changes come. Many changes did occur in many ways...
Relation changed, Feelings changed, opinions changed, thinking changed.
All accepted. No hard feelings and YES, No regrets.
And I call this as my experienced year 2012.
I am all ready to see what this year 2013 has stored for me.
Happy New year People.
and before making new-resolution try to find out who you are in Real, will be really easy in following the resolutions…..:)

Happy New Year 2013 and have a healthy year ahead.
1st thought of January 1st...

Mashutzo Writes.